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JBL Quantum 600 Wireless Over-Ear Performance Gaming Headset with Surround Sound and Game-Chat Balance Dial - Black

JBL Quantum 600 Wireless Over-Ear Performance Gaming Headset with Surround Sound and Game-Chat Balance Dial - Black 70Q6A
It is clear that numerous old people are being taken care by care homes or nursing homes. Although they all have families still they are being cared by the home. In this essay, I will explore the benefits and drawbacks of this direction. To begin with, on the positives, aged people will have more time to spend for themselves. With being in family, they might have to look after their grand children and sometimes may have to sacrifice what they feel to do. For instance, if they feel tired and try to get some sleep, and during that time if their grand children seek for any support, they might have to forget about they wish for. Besides having ample of time, they can lead a family stress free life when they are alone. Since, they will not be in seeing the problematic or issue situations which family is going through. To illustrate this point, if the family members are facing challenge because of money or health or work related problems, with aged person staying away from family will help them free from these stress. Nevertheless, these people do have drawbacks of being in care homes. Firstly, they will not have anyone to share their love or talk about old days as they are not being surrounded by their family community. Though they have other aged people like them, some people will still like to share with their own members. For example, if they want to talk about their marriage anniversary (which would have happened long ago) there won’t be anyone hearing them. Lastly, they will have a dull last life and this is due to the fact that being lonely. To give an example, many people will think only of the days they spent delighted and they will obviously miss those days. Hence, this makes them feel worried and each day will be sad. In conclusion, although they have a plethora of time and free from family stress, some still have loneliness and dull life.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
being taken
care by care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
or nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
they all have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
still
they are
being cared
by the home. In this essay, I will explore the benefits and drawbacks of this direction.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, on the positives, aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend for themselves. With being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look after their grand children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sacrifice what they feel to do.
For instance
, if they feel tired and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sleep, and during that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
if their grand children seek for any support, they might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
forget about they wish for.
Besides
having ample of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they can lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free life when they are alone. Since, they will not be in seeing the problematic or issue situations which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is going through. To illustrate this point, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are facing challenge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of money or health or work related problems, with aged person staying away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them free from these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

Nevertheless
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do have drawbacks of being in care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
Firstly
, they will not have anyone to share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
or talk about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days as they are not
being surrounded
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
community. Though they have other aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
still
like to share with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
members.
For example
, if they want to talk about their
Wedding anniversaries are the proper term to describe the anniversary of the day of a wedding.
marriage
anniversary (which would have happened long ago) there won’t be anyone hearing them.
Lastly
, they will have a dull last life and
this is due to the fact that
being lonely. To give an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
of the days they spent
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
delighted and
they will
obviously
miss those days.
Hence
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel worried and each day will be sad.

In conclusion
, although they have a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and free from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
have loneliness and dull life.
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IELTS essay JBL Quantum 600 Wireless Over-Ear Performance Gaming Headset with Surround Sound and Game-Chat Balance Dial - Black

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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