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Should zoos be closing down?

Should zoos be closing down? 8Qogr
Zoos have been great entertainment and education to not children but adults too. For many people, however, for a variety of reasons, zoos are unnecessary in any kind of form. In the following essay, I will be discussing the reasons for this and also I will be solving the difficulties by suggesting some alternatives if the zoos are no longer available to the public. One of the main reasons is that zoos are the captivity of wild animals, which leads to a direct impact on the welfare of the species such as lack of spaces, social stress, presence of visitors, health problems, etc. Therefore expectedly changed the habitation of animals. Another reason is that a majority of zoos profit to satisfy their aspirations instead of renovating the animals’ surroundings giving animals poor living conditions that may affect their status as well as their generations. My opinion is that it is unforgivable to keep animals within cages, imagine visiting the zoos and all you can see is yourself being free around caged animals. So if the zoos are all closed now, we can instead be visiting a national park, where animals are roaming all over the park, which is an enormous forest without any barriers between us and animals. National Parks are forests with the observation of rangers who tend to keep the forest safe and protecting wild animals against any illegal captivity from outsiders. In summary, zoos are safe for the animals or not, it is depending on your perspectives but I do wish zoos to be forever closed so that the animals will not be caged and lived their lives.
Zoos have been great entertainment and education to not children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
adults too. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
however
, for a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, zoos are unnecessary in any kind of form. In the following essay, I will be discussing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this and
also
I will be solving the difficulties by suggesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
alternatives if the zoos are no longer available to the public.

One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
is that zoos are the captivity of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, which leads to a direct impact on the welfare of the species such as lack of spaces, social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, presence of visitors, health problems, etc.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
Possible spelling mistake found.
expectedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the habitation of animals.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that a majority of zoos profit to satisfy their aspirations
instead
of renovating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
surroundings giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
poor living conditions that may affect their status
as well
as their generations. My opinion is that it is unforgivable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
within cages, imagine visiting the zoos and all you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
is yourself being free around caged animals.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if the zoos are all closed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, we can
instead
be visiting a national park, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are roaming all over the park, which is an enormous forest without any barriers between us and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. National Parks are forests with the observation of rangers who tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the forest safe and protecting wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
against any illegal captivity from outsiders.

In summary, zoos are safe for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
or not, it
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is depending
on your perspectives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I do wish zoos to be forever closed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
will not
be caged
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Should zoos be closing down?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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