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Should wealthy Nations be required to share their wealth among poor Nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it responsibility of government of poor nation to look after their citizens themselves?

Should wealthy Nations be required to share their wealth among poor Nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it responsibility of government of poor nation to look after their citizens themselves? n0V7
Many developing countries still thriving to overcome the poverty. Wealthy countries can help the poorer countries by providing better education through scholarships. It is not along the responsibility of developed countries to contribute for the advancements in the less developed countries, but also the Government of those countries to improve the quality of living of their citizens. First and foremost, underdeveloped countries and developing countries should receive education to eradicate poverty. Rich countries can provide education and give knowledge on newer technology with lesser fees and distant education, so that the younger generation in poorer countries get exposed to various fields which help the individuals to implement certain things in their own country. For example farming techniques in some countries are manual and time-consuming, through education one can understand the modern farming to yield better outcome in lesser time. Thus, wealthy countries can help the countries who are in poverty by giving a chance to learn advancements that can be made in the country. Furthermore, the Government of less developed countries also play an important role by encouraging the citizens to get educated through schemes and helpingin exportation of traditional clothes and foods which are available only in that country. They also have to maintain interrelations with other countries and accept the help provided by them. Schemes like free education, low interest loans for small scale business, educational loans for higher studies overseas should be putforth. Therefore, government has to implement such schemes and increase the economy. In conclusion, the developing countries are striving hard to abolish poverty through the schemes provided by the government to the citizens of the country. Nevertheless, wealthy countries contribution will establish a strong foundation for young people of poor countries to get better education and quality of life. However, it is also responsibility of government to take care of their citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
developing
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countries
still
thriving to overcome the
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poverty
. Wealthy
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countries
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the poorer
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countries
by providing better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
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through
scholarships. It is not along the responsibility of developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to contribute for the advancements in the less developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
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Government
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of living of their citizens.

First
and foremost, underdeveloped
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countries
and developing
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countries
should receive
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education
to eradicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and give knowledge on newer technology with lesser fees and distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the younger generation in poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to various fields which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the individuals to implement certain things in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
farming techniques in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are manual and time-consuming,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
one can understand the modern farming to yield better outcome in lesser time.
Thus
, wealthy
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countries
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
by giving a chance to learn advancements that can
be made
in the country.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
of less developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
also
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role by encouraging the citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schemes
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
helpingin
exportation of traditional clothes and foods which are available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. They
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
maintain interrelations with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
provided by them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schemes
like free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, low interest loans for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale business, educational loans for higher studies overseas should be
Possible spelling mistake found.
putforth
.
Therefore
,
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government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
implement such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schemes
and increase the economy.

In conclusion
, the developing
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countries
are striving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to abolish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schemes
provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to the citizens of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Nevertheless
, wealthy
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
contribution will establish a strong foundation for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and quality of life.
However
, it is
also
responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to take care of their citizens.
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IELTS essay Should wealthy Nations be required to share their wealth among poor Nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it responsibility of government of poor nation to look after their citizens themselves?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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