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Should students have a long summer holiday or should terms be longer?

Should students have a long summer holiday or should terms be longer? x8eQ9
Nowadays there is a great debate about how long should be school terms and summer holiday. This essay outlines the differences between shorter or longer holidays and how this change could afflict the educational programs. First of all, if we are talking about educational purposes, a longer school terms might not mean an improvement in skills. In fact, after 9 months of daily homework, tests and exams many teenagers might be stressed and tired. For this reason, students need to relax and recharge their batteries. The summer holidays are the perfect occasion to meet new friends, spend time with parents and have fun. During these 3 months, teenagers have the possibility of living an independent life and practising several sports which increase both physical and mental skills. In addition, plenty of schools organise English school camp in the summer holiday, a perfect occasion to combine the practising of new activities with the ability to talk one of the most important language. In conclusion, although it could be argued that 3 months of holiday are excessive for students, the summer might be a great opportunity to improve different skills which usually don't be practised during the school terms.
Nowadays there is a great debate about how long should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
terms and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
. This essay outlines the differences between shorter or longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
and how this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
could afflict the educational programs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if we are talking about educational purposes, a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
terms might not mean an improvement in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In fact, after 9 months of daily homework,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
and exams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and tired.

For this reason
, students need to relax and recharge their batteries. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
are the perfect occasion to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends, spend time with parents and have fun. During these 3 months,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have the possibility of living an independent life and
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
several sports which increase both physical and mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
camp in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
, a perfect occasion to combine the
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
of new activities with the ability to talk one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Please check whether a plural form of 'language' should be used.
language
.

In conclusion
, although it could
be argued
that 3 months of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
are excessive for students, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
might be a great opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which
usually
don't be
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
terms.
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IELTS essay Should students have a long summer holiday or should terms be longer?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
197 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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