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Student should work before studying for a higher degree

Student should work before studying for a higher degree G9V1L
We have spent more than a half of our age study in the same curriculum, so what matters with only a year off then. Some students know what they want to do and aim for, but sadly some are not. Graduating from high school and continuously attending college might cause burnout and stress. Therefore, Gap Year is one option that provides them time and space to learn things, including themselves. This program is accepted worldwide, and even Harvard recommends it in an acceptance letter as taking a gap year before going to college is a benefit for the student. As I mentioned, many students are facing the stress of not knowing their goal and don’t even know who they are. Thus, the gap year helps them to discover a hidden passion. Gap Year Association data revealed that over 84% of respondents said spending time abroad helped them learn new skills, followed by giving them a purpose in life due to having time to self-reflection. All of these helpfully lead to not only succeeding in college or work but also getting a job. And it will not happen without having passion in the first place. Furthermore, in academics, the student will perform better in college. After Bob Clagett, former Dean of Admissions at Middlebury College, conducted and compared students in his class, it was discovered that those who took a gap year consistently outperformed what was predicted based on academic rating. Most importantly, this positive effect lasted for 4 years, or until they graduated. These are the consequences of taking a year off. Apparently, it helps students succeed in class and are more likely to be more successful after college. Lastly, your perspective on the world will change and be more mature. Specifically, over 90% said it allows them to communicate and exchange views with several people from different backgrounds. Moreover, it also makes them more understanding and respectful of other cultures. During this program, you will see what makes humanity so grateful and terrible at the same time, which may lead you to grow up and understand the world that we live in better. In other words, it makes you a better version of yourself. Eventually, the student who takes a gap year will gain a lot of advantages from it. Whether in university or in life, It is better to spend time exploring the world than being stuck in a class that you do not even feel like attending. Finding your passion, performing better in class, and developing a perspective of the world are just some advantages that you will take from it. There are still a ton of more. It might be scary to get out of a safe zone and have an adventure alone, but Afterall, isn’t it what life is about?
We have spent more than a half of our age study in the same curriculum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
what matters with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off then.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
know what they want to do and aim for,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
sadly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are not. Graduating from high school and
continuously
attending college might cause burnout and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Year
is one option that provides them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and space to learn things, including themselves. This program is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
worldwide, and even Harvard recommends it in an acceptance letter as taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to college is a benefit for the student.

As I mentioned,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are facing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of not knowing their goal and don’t even know who they are.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to discover a hidden passion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Year
Association data revealed that over 84% of respondents said spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
abroad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, followed by giving them a purpose in life due to having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to self-reflection. All of these
helpfully
lead to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
succeeding in college or work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
getting a job. And it will not happen without having passion in the
first
place.

Furthermore
, in academics, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in college. After Bob
Possible spelling mistake found.
Clagett
, former Dean of Admissions at Middlebury College, conducted and compared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, it
was discovered
that those who took a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
consistently
outperformed what
was predicted
based on academic rating. Most
importantly
, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect lasted for 4 years, or until they graduated. These are the consequences of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off.
Apparently
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
succeed in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and are more likely to be more successful after college.

Lastly
, your perspective on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and be more mature.
Specifically
, over 90% said it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to communicate and exchange views with several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds.
Moreover
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more understanding and respectful of other cultures. During this program, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
humanity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
grateful and terrible at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which may lead you to grow up and understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
In other words
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
version of yourself.

Eventually
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who takes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
will gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages from it. Whether in university or in life, It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
exploring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
than
being stuck
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
that you do not even feel like attending. Finding your passion, performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, and developing a perspective of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages that you will take from it. There are
still
a ton of more. It might be scary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of a safe zone and have an adventure alone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "after all"?
Afterall
, isn’t it what life is about?
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IELTS essay Student should work before studying for a higher degree

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
465 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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