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Should students go abroad for higher studies?

Should students go abroad for higher studies? LlxG6
Nowadays, education is an essential part of life because everyone wants to change their lifestyle. However, higher studies are a significant part of a professional career, and students are more interested in foreign studies. Firstly, in our society, some people believe students should go abroad for advanced studies because they have the right to improve themselves to achieve their goals. The number of young talent moves abroad for studies enhances the quality of knowledge in particular fields. Because the competition is increasing day by day, students are more worried that education does not meet the requirement of practical life. For instance, the recent educational survey shows that more than 1 million young talent leaves their own country for master studies. Moreover, those people also believe students should come back to their homeland and serve the nation. The reason behind this nation has required more skilled professionals for the upcoming talent. Secondly, some people do not like foreign studies. They think the education system should filter and promoting it. Because in the future we have to the massive shortage of skilled talent, and we cannot run the economic activity with a young population. So, the government should take the quality of education with a research centre in their own country and facilitate people. In a nutshell, I believe the student should avail of foreign education because it is the fastest way to improve ownself and numerous opportunities will be opening in the life.
Nowadays,
education
is an essential part of life
because
everyone wants to
change
their lifestyle.
However
, higher
studies
are a significant part of a professional career, and
students
are more interested in foreign studies.

Firstly
, in our society,
some
people
believe
students
should go abroad for advanced
studies
because
they have the right to
improve
themselves to achieve their goals. The number of young talent
moves
abroad for
studies
enhances the quality of knowledge
in particular
fields.
Because
the competition is increasing day by day,
students
are more worried that
education
does not
meet
the requirement of practical life.
For instance
, the recent educational survey
shows
that more than 1 million young talent
leaves
their
own
country for master
studies
.
Moreover
, those
people
also
believe
students
should
come
back to their homeland and serve the nation. The reason behind this nation has required more skilled professionals for the upcoming talent.

Secondly
,
some
people
do not like foreign
studies
. They
think
the
education
system should filter and promoting it.
Because
in the future we
have to
the massive shortage of skilled talent, and we cannot run the economic activity with a young population.
So
, the
government
should take the quality of
education
with a research
centre
in their
own
country and facilitate
people
.

In a nutshell, I believe the
student
should avail of foreign
education
because
it is the fastest way to
improve
ownself
and numerous opportunities will be opening in the life.
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IELTS essay Should students go abroad for higher studies?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
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  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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