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Many students feel negative about the school after graduation. What are the effects and solution?

Many students feel negative about the school after graduation. What are the effects and solution? ProEE
It is undeniable that education plays a vital role in a youngster's life; however, there is an increasing number of school leavers who hold a negative attitude towards the learning system. This essay will discuss the causes of this issue and how it affects the further future of young people. There are two major reasons why some people hold a negative opinion on studying. First of all, the majority of students are forced to learn courses that they are not passionate about. In this developing society, not only a lifestyle but also an academic path of a child can even be decided by their parents. For instance, many high school students want to go on to an art career in university, but they are compelled to study for an engineering degree by their parents. Furthermore, many educational systems make some unnecessary subjects compulsory. In Asian nations such as Vietnam or Korea, students have to learn and memorize lots of events in the past although they can not apply any of this sort of knowledge into their studies in university or even their careers. As a result, young children may find learning as a negative aspect. On the other hand, having a negative attitude towards learning may lead young people to many problems in their careers. When high school students enter university, they would find studying even tougher if they remained a negative opinion towards learning since the more they grow up the more they have to be independent in their studies. For example, many universities over the world require leadership and association in works from students when they do an application. Besides, it would be difficult for a student to determine their true career paths when they are not interested in studying, especially in their major. Students may easily get unmotivated while learning, which leads to a bad outcome in their education. Therefore, young people would not achieve an excellent degree and their job opportunities would be at risk. In conclusion, there are many reasons why school leavers assume learning as a negative aspect, which are caused by their own parents or a huge educational system. Nevertheless, this kind of attitude may lead to some major problems.
It is undeniable that education plays a vital role in a youngster's life;
however
, there is an increasing number of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
who hold a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
attitude towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
system. This essay will discuss the causes of this issue and how it affects the
further
future of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

There are two major reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
opinion on studying.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are forced
to learn courses that they are not passionate about. In this developing society, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
an academic path of a child can even
be decided
by their parents.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to go on to an art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
are compelled
to study for an engineering degree by their parents.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educational systems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unnecessary subjects compulsory. In Asian nations such as Vietnam or Korea,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn and memorize lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in the past although they can not apply any of this sort of knowledge into their studies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or even their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
children may find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
aspect.

On the other hand
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
may lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
. When high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, they would find studying even tougher if they remained a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
opinion towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
since the more they grow up the more they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be independent in their studies.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
over the world require leadership and association in works from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when they do an application.
Besides
, it would be difficult for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to determine their true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
paths when they are not interested in studying,
especially
in their major.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
may
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
unmotivated while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, which leads to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
outcome in their education.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would not achieve an excellent degree and their job opportunities would be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
assume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
aspect, which
are caused
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
parents or a huge educational system.
Nevertheless
, this kind of attitude may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major problems.
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IELTS essay Many students feel negative about the school after graduation. What are the effects and solution?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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