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Should people over the age of 65 be allowed to work or not? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Should people over the age of 65 be allowed to work or not? My8qp
Some people think that the elderly needs to rest instead of working. This belief is derived from the idea that old people over the age of 65 cannot work as well as others and working might be detrimental for their health as they are not very strong. However, others believe that forbidding people from working just because they are old are against freedom and public interests. In this essay I will discuss both views and argue in favor of the latter. On the one hand, working might seem to be bad for the elderly. Above all, the elderly are often not as strong as younger people. Working might be a serious burden for them and it can be bad for their well-being. Also, some claim that old people are not good at working as much as young or middle-aged people as they get tired easily. According to them, it is not necessary for old people to work and it’s better for younger people to do so. They say the government needs to help the elderly under financial difficulties rather than pushing them to work and make their own money which is not beneficial to both old people and the society. Nevertheless, there is a more persuasive argument that no one should forbid people over the age of 65 from working. First of all, old people can work well, too. I recently watched a news about a “silver café” in Korea. A silver café is where all the workers are over the age of 65. Nonetheless, the customers are very satisfied about both the taste of food and the service. Like this, the stereotype that the elderly can’t work properly is wrong. Secondly, due to the aging population, there would be more old people and less young people in the future. If we prohibit old people to work, there will be much less people allowed in the workplace. Finally, it goes against one’s freedom to force a person to not work. The elderly also has a right to choose to work or not. Deciding whether working might be harmful to old people is up to themselves. We shouldn’t interfere with their freedom to make a choice. On the whole, I firmly believe that the current system of allowing old people to work is the best. Old people can work well, it is good for the society, and most of all choosing to work is one of the basic rights of all people. For the elderly, getting a proper job is tough. But as the world is changing, we should not look at working old people with stereotypes and accept that they are very capable with many years of experience and learning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
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elderly
needs to rest
instead
of
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working
. This belief
is derived
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
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old
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people
over the age of 65 cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as well
as others and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be detrimental for their health as they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong.
However
, others believe that forbidding
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people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
are against freedom and public interests. In this essay I will discuss both views and argue in favor of the latter.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
seem to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
.
Above all
, the
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elderly
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
not as strong as younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
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might
be a serious burden for them and it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for their well-being.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
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people
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
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working
as much as young or middle-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired
easily
. According to them, it is not necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and it’s better for younger
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people
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. They say the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
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elderly
under financial difficulties
rather
than pushing them to
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work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
money which is not beneficial to both
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old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the society.

Nevertheless
, there is a more persuasive argument that no one should forbid
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people
over the age of 65 from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
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old
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people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
well, too. I recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "news".
a news
about a “silver café” in Korea. A silver café is where all the workers are over the age of 65. Nonetheless, the customers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfied about both the taste of food and the service. Like this, the stereotype that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
can’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
properly
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Secondly
, due to the aging population, there would be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and less young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the future. If we prohibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, there will be much
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in the workplace.
Finally
, it goes against one’s freedom to force a person to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
also
has a right to choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or not. Deciding whether
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working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
up to themselves. We shouldn’t interfere with their freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a choice.

On the whole
, I
firmly
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
system of allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the best.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
well, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the society, and most of all choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is one of the basic rights of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
, getting a proper job is tough.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as the world is changing, we should not look at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with stereotypes and accept that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
capable with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of experience and learning.
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IELTS essay Should people over the age of 65 be allowed to work or not?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
450 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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