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Should people buy products from shops rather than online?

Should people buy products from shops rather than online? G3MW2
In the modern world, more and more services are going online. And stores are no exception. Today there are a lot of different online stores. But is it possible to trust online stores? And the first reason why we can't trust online stores is because there have been cases when a person ordered a high-quality product and received a low-quality product. In ordinary stores, you can evaluate the quality of the goods yourself before buying. There is also an opportunity to get on the site of scammers and then you will lose money. In ordinary stores, you are sure that you will not be deceived. Also in the online store you do not receive the goods immediately, but only after a few days, or maybe months. In the store you get the item immediately after purchase But online shopping has its advantages over shopping. For example. There is no need to stand in long queues and communicate with others (the last part of the sentence is an obvious plus for introverts). There is also no need to leave the apartment, and this significantly saves time. You can buy the product at a lower price than in the store, because online stores do not pay for the rent of the premises. A wider selection of products than in the store. In conclusion, I want to say that I prefer to buy online in proven magzines, as this significantly saves both time and money
In the modern world, more and more services are going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are no exception.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
is it possible to trust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores?

And the
first
reason why we can't trust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there have been cases when a person ordered a high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and received a low-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. In ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, you can evaluate the quality of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
yourself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying. There is
also
an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on the site of scammers and then you will lose money. In ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, you are sure that you will not
be deceived
.
Also
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
you do not receive the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
immediately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after a few days, or maybe months. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the item immediately after
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
purchase


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping has its advantages over shopping.
For example
. There is no need to stand in long queues and communicate with others (the last part of the sentence is an obvious plus for introverts). There is
also
no need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the apartment, and this
significantly
saves time. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
at a lower price than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
do not pay for the rent of the premises. A wider selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
than in the store.

In conclusion
, I want to say that I prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
in proven
Possible spelling mistake found.
magzines
, as this
significantly
saves both time and money
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IELTS essay Should people buy products from shops rather than online?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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