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Competition for places at university is increasing. Why do more and more people want to study at university? Is this a positive or negative development?

Competition for places at university is increasing. Why do more and more people want to study at university? Is this a positive or negative development? N3rn2
It is true that there are more and more competitions for places at university. There are several causes that have resulted in such phenomenon, and I believe that this is a negative development. The most important reason why more people want to study at university I think is they need the degree for job application. Without a question, college degree is necessary when applying most jobs. Getting a degree is more important than studying what people have interests in nowadays. Degrees help people to find a better job including higher salary so I think that this is the main reason why more people want to study at university. Another reason I believe that is there are more resources for someone to use or learn in college. The professional skills in most subjects would not be teach if you do not study at university. If someone wants to improve his ability or learn more professional skills and concepts, entering a college is the most efficient way. From my perspective, this is a negative development. First of all, it caused people study in a subject which can get them a better job rather than major in what they really have interest in or do what they really want. In other words, people nowadays are being encouraged for getting a degree rather than chasing their dreams. Another reason I think this phenomenon is a negative development is that based on the increased demand of entering university, schools make their tuition higher than before. It seems like people pay for their future. Even though the degree from college indeed helps them to find a job with higher salary, people also need to pay back the huge tuition loan.
It is true that there are more and more competitions for places at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. There are several causes that have resulted in such phenomenon, and I believe that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is they need the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
application. Without a question, college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is necessary when applying most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than studying what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have interests
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Degrees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
including higher salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
I believe
that is
there are more resources for someone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
or learn in college. The professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in most subjects would not be
Consider using a past participle here: "taught".
teach
if you do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. If someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his ability or learn more professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and concepts, entering a college is the most efficient way.

From my perspective, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in a subject which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
rather
than major in what they
really
have interest in or do what they
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are
being encouraged
for getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
rather
than chasing their dreams.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this phenomenon is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development is that based on the increased demand of entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their tuition higher than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. It seems like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay for their future.
Even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
from college
indeed
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "helps them find"?
helps them to find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with higher salary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
need to pay back the huge tuition loan.
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IELTS essay Competition for places at university is increasing. Why do more and more people want to study at university? Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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