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whether public museums and art galleries are significant

whether public museums and art galleries are significant rb8D2
In the contemporary era, owing to modern technology, some people believe that public museums and art galleries are no longer needed since they could observe historical goods and works of art through computers. From my individual perspective, I disagree with this opinion. On the one hand, there is a reason why a tremendous number of people determine to observe historical items and works of art through computers. Owing to the technology, many websites and software allow people all over the world to access and visit a great number of famous places. As a result, they could find it much easier to observe and discover new places without spending time to travel and invest money in the route, which could help them save an enormous amount of money. For instance, during the COVID-19 pandemic, Japan has established a virtual platform about an art gallery in order to help people observe many glorious masterpieces without traveling there. On the other hand, I believe that public museums and art galleries play an indispensable role in human life. Museums contain a wide range of historical items that was experienced in a few or many significant events in the past; therefore, they play a vital role that contribute to the evidence of past occasions. Masterpieces and pictures could not be observed properly through computers, it requires interaction between human and picture, as a result, it creates a sense of understanding and connecting with the purpose in the work of art that the painter demand to influence, contribute to the satisfaction of observer with artworks. Art galleries and museums have a distinct meaning but are also very significant to humans. In conclusion, despite the fact that many museums and art galleries have their own virtual platforms for people to access, their real places still play a vital role in human life.
In the contemporary era, owing to modern technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
are no longer needed since they could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
observe
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
through computers. From my individual perspective, I disagree with this opinion.

On the one hand, there is a reason why a tremendous number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
determine to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
observe
historical items and works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
through computers. Owing to the technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites and software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world to access and visit a great number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
places.
As a result
, they could find it much easier to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
observe
and discover new places without spending time to travel and invest money in the route, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them save an enormous amount of money.
For instance
, during the COVID-19 pandemic, Japan has established a virtual platform about an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
observe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
glorious masterpieces without traveling there.

On the other hand
, I believe that public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
play an indispensable role in human life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
contain a wide range of historical items that
was experienced
in a few or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in the past;
therefore
, they play a vital role that contribute to the evidence of past occasions. Masterpieces and pictures could not
be observed
properly
through computers, it requires interaction between human and picture,
as a result
, it creates a sense of understanding and connecting with the purpose in the work of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
that the painter demand to influence, contribute to the satisfaction of observer with artworks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have a distinct meaning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant to humans.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
virtual platforms for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to access, their real places
still
play a vital role in human life.
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IELTS essay whether public museums and art galleries are significant

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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