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Should Government spend money on art when they have so many other important issues? v.1

Should Government spend money on art when they have so many other important issues? v. 1
There is no denying the fact that the government has to take care of several pressing issues such as poverty, unemployment and illiteracy. This is particularly true in the case of developing countries. However, this does not mean that the government should not spend money on arts. Art represents a country and its heritage. Take, for instance, the case of India. The country is famous for its exquisitely sculpted monuments, temples and palaces. They were the handiwork of artists of the bygone era. Even today, the temples and monuments at Konark, Rajasthan and Madurai attract tens of thousands of local and international tourists. They showcase the rich cultural history of the country and elevate its status. If the kings of those times had not patronised art and artists we would not have these monuments to show off now. Not only the monuments but other forms of art like dance and music also need to be preserved for future generations. Otherwise, we will lose touch with our roots. Government funding is crucial for the existence of arts. Art itself does not generate much revenue and hence artists, especially the lesser-known ones, have to struggle to make a living. This deters many of them from pursuing art as a profession. The only way to kindle their passion is to provide them financial assistance. By doing so, the government can not only protect its artists from starvation but also preserve his cultural legacy. Spending money on arts is also a way of generating money and creating employment. For example, if the government conducts art festivals and exhibitions, they will attract a lot of visitors and return the investment. Such events also provide employment to a number of people. Thus, it is evident that spending on arts is not a waste of resources. To conclude, it is important for the government to invest in various social and economic welfare schemes. Likewise, it is equally important to invest in arts.
There is no denying the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take care of several pressing issues such as poverty, unemployment and illiteracy. This is
particularly
true in the case of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, this does not mean that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not spend money on arts.

Art represents a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and its heritage. Take,
for instance
, the case of India. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for its
exquisitely
sculpted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
, temples and palaces. They were the handiwork of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
of the bygone era. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, the temples and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Konark
, Rajasthan and Madurai attract tens of thousands of local and international tourists. They showcase the rich cultural history of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and elevate its status. If the kings of those times had not
Possible spelling mistake. 'patronised' is British English.
patronised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
we would not have these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
like dance and music
also
need to
be preserved
for future generations.
Otherwise
, we will lose touch with our roots.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
funding is crucial for the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
itself does not generate much revenue and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
,
especially
the lesser-known ones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living. This deters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them from pursuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a profession. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to kindle their passion is to provide them financial assistance. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
protect its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
from starvation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
preserve his cultural legacy. Spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is
also
a way of generating money and creating employment.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
conducts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
festivals and exhibitions, they will attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
visitors and return the investment. Such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
also
provide employment to a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Thus
, it is evident that spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is not a waste of resources.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to invest in various social and economic welfare schemes.
Likewise
, it is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Should Government spend money on art when they have so many other important issues? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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