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Should government demolish old buildings and construct new buildings? Give your opinion with example

Should government demolish old buildings and construct new buildings? Give your opinion with example GMLyL
In recent years, the attitude towards buildings, old or new, has experienced notable alteration. While a general consensus exists that aged buildings should be replaced by a modern one, I support this idea partially. Firstly, one of the most salient reasons why the authority should demolish an ancient property lies in its risk- benefit ratio. To illustrate, numerous buildings have still been existing with extremely dangerous condition. For example, a few years ago, one old building of an Asian country was drawing global attention when it had collapsed, culminating into thousands of workers succumbed to the broken pillars. If the authority were focusing in its replacement earlier, it would not have happened. Another point has its inextricable link to the overall prospect of rebuilding. Government often need to knock down the older estates, multiple in number, for establishing a factory. Not only it potentially bring about financial prospects from the business profit, but also it could be transformative for making a productive society. Considering these greater benefits, the significance of replacing the older buildings can't be denied Despite of having these points, valid reasons exists for not breaking the older buildings. It's effectivity is at the cornerstone of such phenomenon. For example, one Asian university, the architecture of the British period, is still demonstrating its full functionality. Whether it possess the modern style, it is sustainable. Breaking of such property would be wastage, not only of financial resources, but also of manpower. On no account, this could be wise. Furthermore, some buildings are of paramount importance for its underlying history or memory. Provided that it is eligible, it might be utilized for establishing the social welfare, such as, worship place, free education or museum. To conclude, replacing older buildings by a new one is often becoming a necessity. However, I believe government should decide based on its sustainability and effectivity.
In recent years, the attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
or new, has experienced notable alteration. While a
Consider using "consensus".
general consensus
exists that aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be replaced
by a modern one, I support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
partially
.

Firstly
, one of the most salient reasons why the authority should demolish an ancient property lies in its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
- benefit ratio. To illustrate, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have
still
been existing with
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
condition.
For example
, a few years ago, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
of an Asian country was drawing global attention when it had collapsed, culminating into thousands of workers succumbed to the broken pillars. If the authority were focusing in its replacement earlier, it would not have happened. Another point has its inextricable link to the
overall
prospect of rebuilding.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
need to knock down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
estates,
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
multiple in number
, for establishing a factory. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it
potentially
Did you mean "brings"?
bring
about financial prospects from the business profit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it could be transformative for making a productive society. Considering these greater benefits, the significance of replacing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can't be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
denied


Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
having these points, valid reasons exists for not breaking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
Did you mean "Its"?
It's
effectivity is at the cornerstone of such phenomenon.
For example
, one Asian university, the architecture of the British period, is
still
demonstrating its full functionality. Whether it possess the modern style, it is sustainable. Breaking of such property would be wastage, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
of financial resources,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
of manpower. On no account, this could be wise.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are of paramount importance for its underlying history or memory. Provided that it is eligible, it might
be utilized
for establishing the social welfare, such as, worship place, free education or museum.

To conclude
, replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
by a new one is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
becoming a necessity.
However
, I believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should decide based on its sustainability and effectivity.
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IELTS essay Should government demolish old buildings and construct new buildings? Give your opinion with example

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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