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Should give stars at least four weeks holiday a year to make employment better than the top job to what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement

Should give stars at least four weeks holiday a year to make employment better than the top job with the statement webPq
It is proposed that work stress has been increased nowadays due to lot of competition in the market I agree that down 46 holidays should be provided for the workers in company the coming paragraph I would like to discuss briefly about the statement. There are many reasons why should I agree with this employment should provide your holidays a year first and foremost the employees works more than their capacity due to the lot of competition in the market and they also sacrificed their personal and private life then work as a robots they have to be taken only one day of leave in their weekdays although the salary which is provided by the company or not enough to the workers Family can be troubled a lot and download Carly enjoyed a lot for example the western countries the US Canada and Germany they have a limited of 40 hours per week into four days also they provide this weekend holidays for the employer they have the bonding of the employee and employer between them. Secondly holiday is must for every employer and employee who can work in their work pants it is important to spend a happy life and give some priority for their family also finally I would like to talk about the working hard is most important for the both the worker and the employer in any moment it maybe one month or two months of vacation to be spread by the company. Do some rap would like to repeat that I am strongly agree with this agreement went to the employees should have food with whole day and how to spend with their family and friends personal or private. I
It
is proposed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
has
been increased
nowadays due to
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
competition in the market I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that down 46
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
should
be provided
for the workers in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
the coming paragraph I would like to discuss
briefly
about the statement.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why should I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this employment should provide your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
a year
first
and foremost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
works more than their capacity due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of competition in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
market and
they
also
sacrificed their personal and private life then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a robot" or simply "robots"?
a robots
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be taken
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one day of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
in their weekdays although the salary which
is provided
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to the workers Family can
be troubled
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
and download Carly enjoyed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
for example
the western countries the US Canada and Germany they have a limited of 40 hours per week into four days
also
they provide this weekend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
they have the bonding of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
between them.

Secondly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
who can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
pants it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spend a happy life and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
priority for their family
also
finally
I would like to talk about the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the both the worker and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
in any moment it maybe one month or two months of vacation to
be spread
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rap would like to repeat that I am
strongly
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this agreement went to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
should have food with whole day and how to spend with their family and friends personal or private. I
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IELTS essay Should give stars at least four weeks holiday a year to make employment better than the top job with the statement

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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