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Should economic development be a higher priority for developing countries than environmental protection?

Should economic development be a higher priority for developing countries than environmental protection? BJb2p
Nowadays, the importance of economic development for developing countries has been rapidly increasing. Despite this, some argue environmental protection should be their focus. Although both are critical, I strongly believe that economic development should be prioritized over environmental protection. First, economic development acts as a precursor to protecting the environment, but not vice versa. Australia, for example, is said to have spent approximately $8 billion to protect Great Barrier Reef. What allowed Australia to invest this amount of money is its steady economic growth since the country was established about 100 years ago. Without it, it could not have realized the conservation of this beautiful coral reef. Further, economic growth saves people’s lives. For instance, a report issued by Cambridge University shows the number of deaths from starvation in China has declined dramatically with its GDP growth. The report says this is because its national income growth allowed the country to distribute food assistance to the poor. If the country had focused on environmental protection, it would have had to forsake these people. Lastly, developed countries are ultimately responsible for the world’s environmental problems. As a case in point, many US corporations have outsourced their factories to developing nations such as Indonesia and Vietnam, and as a result, the they have successfully shifted the burden of carbon dioxide emissions. The consequence of this is obviously economic disparity. For above reasons, there is no doubt that developing countries should give priority to economic growth over environmental protection. It is hoped the world becomes more aware of the importance of economic development in developing countries.
Nowadays, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has been
rapidly
increasing. Despite this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection should be their focus. Although both are critical, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
should
be prioritized
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
acts as a precursor to protecting the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not vice versa. Australia,
for example
,
is said
to have spent approximately $8 billion to protect Great Barrier Reef. What
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
Australia to invest this amount of money is its steady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
was established
about 100 years ago. Without it, it could not have realized the conservation of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
coral reef.

Further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
saves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
, a report issued by Cambridge University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the number of deaths from starvation in China has declined
dramatically
with its GDP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
. The report says this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its national income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to distribute food assistance to the poor. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
had focused on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection, it would have had to forsake these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Lastly
, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
ultimately
responsible for the world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems. As a case in point,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
US corporations have outsourced their factories to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
nations such as Indonesia and Vietnam, and
as a result
,
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "they"?
the they
have
successfully
shifted the burden of carbon dioxide emissions. The consequence of this is
obviously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
disparity.

For above reasons, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should give priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection. It
is hoped
the world becomes more aware of the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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IELTS essay Should economic development be a higher priority for developing countries than environmental protection?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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