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Celebrities are role models for the young generation. Therefore, should behave well in public. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Celebrities are role models for the young generation. Therefore, should behave well in public. kYlV2
It is true that celebrities have to set an example to the young generation. I partially agree with the given statement. Today's young generation follow the lifestyle of celebrities. They have become their role models as they are always in the spotlight. Celebrities should behave responsibly because they exert an enormous influence on teenagers. Thus, young people need positive role models in order to live a with hope, integrity and compassion. They need to see that they can be very successful and a very good person at the same time. For example, Priyanka Chopra has set a great example for youngsters. Being a celebrity, she also works toward the upliftment of children. Also celebrities need to keep in mind that the whole of young generation is looking upon their lives. So, they also need to compensate for the lack of positive role models among politicians and business people. But there are some drawbacks also if youngsters keep following the celebrities. Their primary focus is to entertain people, not to set an example. Like everyone, celebrities may have moral shortcomings and make the wrong life choices. Others are there only for publicity and fame. Theis set a wrong example and many young people also have the same mindset. And this leads to many issues in their future. The lavish lifestyle of celebrities make young people to waste lot of money also. Many fall in trap and sometimes it has costed their lives. Youngsters need to know that there are many others who can be their role models such as parents, teachers, leaders, social workers et cetera. In conclusion, though there are some celebrities whom young people can follow, but they need to follow the examples of others also to live a life which impacts the upcoming generation.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
set an
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example
to the
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young
generation. I
partially
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agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
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young
generation follow the lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. They have become their
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role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
as they are always in the spotlight.
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Celebrities
should behave
responsibly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they exert an enormous influence on
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teenagers
.
Thus
,
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young
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people
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need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
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models
in order to
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live
a with hope, integrity and compassion. They
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need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that they can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person at the same time. For
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example
, Priyanka Chopra has set a great
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example
for youngsters. Being a
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celebrity
, she
also
works toward the
Possible spelling mistake found.
upliftment
of children.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind that the whole of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation is looking upon their
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lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
also
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need
to compensate for the lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
among politicians and business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
also
if youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. Their primary focus is to entertain
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people
, not to set an
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example
. Like everyone,
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celebrities
may have moral shortcomings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
life choices. Others are there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for publicity and fame.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Theis
set a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
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example
and
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many
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
have the same mindset. And this leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues in their future. The lavish lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "makes"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'make' is not always incorrect.)
make
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young
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people
to waste lot of money
also
.
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Many
fall in trap and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it has costed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Youngsters
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need
to know that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others who can be their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
such as parents, teachers, leaders, social
Possible spelling mistake found.
workers et
cetera.

In conclusion
, though there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
whom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can follow,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to follow the
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examples
of others
also
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a life which impacts the upcoming generation.
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IELTS essay Celebrities are role models for the young generation. Therefore, should behave well in public.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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