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it is argued by some group that they should fix the retirement age. discuss the cause and give solutions

it is argued by some group that they should fix the retirement age. discuss the cause and give solutions XGjYA
It is often argued by most people that it is not reasonable perhaps to fix the retirement age, keeping it standardized for all, irrespective of the type of profession. People doing a certain kind of jobs deserve to be relieved from their duties and avail retirement benefits at an earlier age. I, having considered the worthwhile reasons, as stated further in this essay, am in complete agreement with this argument. One of the most compelling reasons that support this argument is that different types of occupations demand variety of skillset and competencies. For example, a delivery boy is required to do more physical work as compared to a data entry operator. Unequivocally, the physical strength and endurance of an individual decreases gradually with age because of which a person doing a field job may not be able to perform to his maximum efficiency. Furthermore, allowing the workers, whose job role demands physical strength and endurance, to retire at an early age is beneficial to the employers as well. These workers will happily retire as they become eligible for pension which proves to be a great financial aid. If not for this provision, these people would stretch themselves to work for the monetory benefits and continue working with reduced levels of productivity. As a result, the overhead cost of an organization would be impacted adversely without achieveing desired levels of output. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate the fact that it is not logical to measure different kinds of job with the same yardstick. Retirement age for every employee should be decided on the basis of the skills required to fulfil the job duties. Undoubtedly, certain category of workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age considering their physical abilities.
It is
often
argued by most
people
that it is not reasonable perhaps to
fix
the retirement
age
, keeping it standardized for all, irrespective of the type of profession.
People
doing a certain kind of
jobs
deserve to
be relieved
from their duties and avail retirement benefits at an earlier
age
. I, having considered the worthwhile reasons, as stated
further
in this essay, am in complete agreement with this argument.

One of the most compelling reasons that support this argument is that
different
types of occupations demand variety of
skillset
and competencies.
For example
, a delivery boy
is required
to do more
physical
work as compared to a data entry operator.
Unequivocally
, the
physical
strength and endurance of an individual decreases
gradually
with
age
because
of which a person doing a field
job
may not be able to perform to his maximum efficiency.

Furthermore
, allowing the workers, whose
job
role demands
physical
strength and endurance, to retire at an early
age
is beneficial to the employers
as well
. These workers will
happily
retire as they become eligible for pension which proves to be a great financial aid. If not for this provision, these
people
would stretch themselves to work for the
monetory
benefits and continue working with
reduced
levels of productivity.
As a result
, the overhead cost of an organization would
be impacted
adversely
without
achieveing
desired levels of output.

In conclusion
, I would like to reiterate the fact that it is not logical to measure
different
kinds of
job
with the same yardstick. Retirement
age
for every employee should
be decided
on the basis of the
skills
required to fulfil the
job
duties.
Undoubtedly
, certain category of workers
deserve
to retire and receive a pension at an earlier
age
considering their
physical
abilities.
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IELTS essay it is argued by some group that they should fix the retirement age. discuss the cause and give solutions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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