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SHOULD DANGEROUS SPORTS BE BANNED OR NOT?

SHOULD DANGEROUS SPORTS BE BANNED OR NOT? ELVlQ
According to some news, it is seen an opposition regarding banning dangerous sports have been increasing day by day all over the world due to the fact that they caused life-threatening events on people engaged in such sports. Given the fact that some extreme sports cause injury even death, it can be thought ban such these sports. However, considering injury and fatality rates across the world, many a time injury and deaths stem from another ways outside of dangerous sports. To give an example, with regard to the last issue of journal of health sciences published last month, injuries largely arise from mishaps occuring in home, and most mortals are due to heart attacks also recent virus outbreak. Curiously enough, the same research also mention the point that the impact of dangerous sports on injury and fatality rates results in low rates of even less than 1%. From the point of my view, the reason of this outcome is that equipments used for dangerous sports are prepared all unexpected situation under any circumstances. Hence, people’s lives are not put at risk. On the other hand, everyone has rights to do whatever they want even incidents is resulted with injury and death. Freedom is of great significance above all. In conclusion, there is no a palpable reason in order to ban dangerous sports. For this reason, as long as dangerous sports equipments are intact, everyone is so far from the risk for injury and deaths. To sum up, owing to the fact that dangerous sports are not as hazardous enough as it looks, it should not to be banned.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
news, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
an opposition regarding banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have been increasing day by day all over the world due to the fact that they caused life-threatening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
engaged in such sports.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injury
even death, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
ban such these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
However
, considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injury
and fatality rates across the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
a time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injury
and deaths stem from another ways
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. To give an example, with regard to the last issue of journal of health sciences published last month,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
largely
arise from mishaps
Possible spelling mistake found.
occuring
in home, and most mortals are due to heart attacks
also
recent virus outbreak.
Curiously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, the same research
also
mention the point that the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injury
and fatality rates results in low rates of even less than 1%. From the point of my view, the reason of this outcome is that equipments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are prepared
all unexpected situation under any circumstances.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are not put at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

On the other hand
, everyone has rights to do whatever they want even incidents
is resulted
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injury
and death. Freedom is of great significance
above all
.

In conclusion
, there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
a palpable reason in order to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
For this reason
, as long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
equipments are intact, everyone is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injury
and deaths. To sum up, owing to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are not as hazardous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
as it looks, it should not to
be banned
.
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IELTS essay SHOULD DANGEROUS SPORTS BE BANNED OR NOT?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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