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Should companies need to involve employees in the decision-making process? To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Should companies need to involve employees in the decision-making process? v. 1
Recently, the phenomenon of companies decision making and its corresponding impact has sparked a heated debate. Although contested by many that involving personnel in it are highly beneficial, such issues are regarded thoroughly both constructive and positive by a substantial number of individuals. I am inclined to believe that engaging all staff in this process can be a plus, and I will analyze that throughout this essay. From a managers standpoint, decision making can provide the society with some noticeable effects which are rooted in the fact that job satisfaction, as well as their spirit, are inextricably bound up. According to my own experience, when I was a university student, I performed an academic experiment which discovered a sense of belonging. Thus, beneficial ramifications of both demanding job and managerial skill apparently can be seen. Within the realm of firms, employees cooperation might increase the consequences of coordinating. Moreover, fundamental aspects of modern workplaces relate to this reality that the demerits of relationship pertain to the horizontal organization. As a tangible example, a scientific research undertaken by a prestigious university has asserted that the downside of the vertical level is correlated negatively with efficiency. Hence, it is correct to presume the preconceived notion of hierarchy. To conclude, while there are several compelling arguments on both sides, I profoundly believe that the benefits of job demand far outweigh its drawbacks. Not only do the advantages of operational skill prove the significance of teamwork, but also pinpoint company future implications.
Recently, the phenomenon of
companies
decision making
and its corresponding impact has sparked a heated debate. Although contested by
many
that involving personnel in it are
highly
beneficial, such issues
are regarded
thoroughly
both constructive and
positive
by a substantial number of individuals. I
am inclined
to believe that engaging all staff in this process can be a plus, and I will analyze that throughout this essay.

From a
managers
standpoint,
decision making
can provide the society with
some
noticeable effects which
are rooted
in the fact that job satisfaction,
as well
as their spirit, are
inextricably
bound up. According to my
own
experience, when I was a university student, I performed an academic experiment which discovered a sense of belonging.
Thus
, beneficial ramifications of both demanding job and managerial
skill
apparently
can be
seen
.

Within the realm of firms, employees cooperation might increase the consequences of coordinating.
Moreover
, fundamental aspects of modern workplaces relate to this reality that the demerits of relationship pertain to the horizontal organization. As a tangible example, a scientific research undertaken by a prestigious university has asserted that the downside of the vertical level
is correlated
negatively
with efficiency.
Hence
, it is correct to presume the preconceived notion of hierarchy.

To conclude
, while there are several compelling arguments on both sides, I
profoundly
believe that the benefits of job demand far outweigh its drawbacks. Not
only
do the advantages of operational
skill
prove the significance of teamwork,
but
also
pinpoint
company
future implications.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Should companies need to involve employees in the decision-making process? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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