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Should children be thought art?

Should children be thought art? 75aob
It is commonly believed that art plays a highly important role in children's growth and development. In my opinion, they should be thought to learn art in relation to other subjects. Firstly, art helps children to promote their imagination as well as their creativity. They are getting use to awakening thir capabilities by applying different forms of art in their work. Therefore, psychologists value the significance of art by going into details in terms of learning more about children's art and their way of conveying various subjects through it. Another noteable advantage of art is that children have some struggles to speak properly when they are in their early stages of their lives. They are provided with pictures, symbols which trigger them to generate more abstract ideas through actual photographs. Having the considerable variation of medium eases their hardships in terms of interaction. Even though art has a great value in younger learner's overall improvement, whereas education providers should not let the children undervalue other subjects. The combination of science, art as well as other subjects arw designed to assist the children to become an adult both mentally and physically. To sum up, the combination of art and other subjects will led the children have healthier way of thinking pattern.
It is
commonly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
plays a
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in children's growth and development. In my opinion, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in relation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to promote their imagination
as well
as their creativity. They are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to awakening
Possible spelling mistake found.
thir
capabilities by applying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in their work.
Therefore
, psychologists value the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
by going into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
in terms of learning more about children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and their way of conveying various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
through it.

Another
Possible spelling mistake found.
noteable
advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
struggles to speak
properly
when they are in their early stages of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They
are provided
with pictures, symbols which trigger them to generate more abstract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
through actual photographs. Having the considerable variation of medium
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
their hardships in terms of interaction.

Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
has a great value in younger learner's
overall
improvement, whereas education providers should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
undervalue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. The combination of science,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
Possible spelling mistake found.
arw
designed to assist the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become an adult both mentally and
physically
.

To sum up, the combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will led the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have healthier way of thinking pattern.
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IELTS essay Should children be thought art?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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