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Crime is becoming a serious concern some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime.while others feel that little action can be done to stop crime.Discuss both the views and give your opinion

Crime is becoming a serious concern some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. while others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. Discuss both the views and give your opinion 1n56A
There is no denying that in India crime is increasing day by day. However while some believe that it should be taken harder action on it. I agree with these that strict actions are required to control crimes. In these essay I would be discussing both view and will try to explain my point of view in detail. Nowadays, young people can easily turn to crime from peer pressure or lack of parental guidance. In this fast era parents cannot give time to their children and while they grow up they become a theif. Moreover every parent should give some time to their child in childhood. In survey conducted by the Times, they have observed from 2018-2021 crime has increased as compared to past so in this case government should take less action for younger generation. On the other side of these youngsters generation do harrasment with girls or women then government should take a strict action against it because in this case they are talking about girls security. In india most of the females cannot leave their home alone because of the increasing rape. Schools and parents should teach young people to give appreciation for women. To break a chain government and society both should consider this crime as a felonies. To conclude of course there is a truth in the argument of crime to give a strict action against violation this is only possible way. When both Government and society will work together in this campaign.
There is no denying that in India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is increasing day by day.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that it should
be taken
harder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
on it. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with these that strict actions
are required
to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. In these essay I would be discussing both view and will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my point of view in detail.

Nowadays, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
from peer pressure or lack of parental guidance. In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
era parents cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
time to their children and while they grow up they become a
Possible spelling mistake found.
theif
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
every parent should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to their child in childhood. In survey conducted by the Times, they have observed from 2018-2021
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has increased as compared to past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in this case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
for younger generation.

On the other side of these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "youngsters'" or "youngster's"?
youngsters
generation do
Possible spelling mistake found.
harrasment
with girls or women then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take a strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
against it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this case
they are talking about girls security. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
most of the females cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increasing rape. Schools and parents should teach young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
appreciation for women. To break a chain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and society both should consider this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a felony" or simply "felonies"?
a felonies
.

To conclude
of course
there is a truth in the argument of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
against violation this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible way. When both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
and society will work together in this campaign.
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IELTS essay Crime is becoming a serious concern some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. while others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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