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Restrictions on mobile phones

Restrictions on mobile phones BaJ1V
Mobile phones like everything in life has its positives and negatives. The argument on whether there should be restrictions on them need to address both sides and give valid points as to why. Starting with the positives, mobiles have a wide range of uses including mainly connecting people near or far together and allowing them to socialize and share their creativity. Additionally, some people make their living using their mobiles, Although it's used for communication mainly mobiles have different uses in situations such as needing a flashlight in the dark, getting to a location, searching for recipes for example and most importantly in the case of emergency. Furthermore, it's widely used for entertainment purposes in the form of video games and tv shows. As such nothing in life is truly perfect, general downsides include but are not limited to Mobile's effect on health from the radiowaves that affect the body over time to the artificial lights that our eyes are being exposed to. However, the most impact it makes is on children, it can affect their brain development and cause addiction that affects their socializing abilities. Similarly, there are dangers to adults using mobiles in situations like driving, getting distracted while driving is generally believed to have increased the number of accidents, the devices' radiowaves might interfere with medical equipment or even in airplanes which would endanger others. I believe that mobiles are necessary because they play a large part in the modern world, On the other hand, restrictions need to be made but not as strict as mentioned before, I think it'd be beneficial to have restrictions on children's use but not on adults but what matters is that everyone should be responsible in the end.
Mobile phones like everything in life has its positives and negatives. The argument on whether there should be restrictions on them need to address both sides and give valid points as to why.

Starting with the positives, mobiles have a wide range of
uses
including
mainly
connecting
people
near or far together and allowing them to socialize and share their creativity.
Additionally
,
some
people
make
their living using their mobiles, Although it's
used
for communication
mainly
mobiles have
different
uses
in situations such as needing a flashlight in the dark, getting to a location, searching for recipes
for example
and most
importantly
in the case of emergency.
Furthermore
, it's
widely
used
for entertainment purposes in the form of video games and
tv
shows
.

As such nothing in life is
truly
perfect, general downsides include
but
are not limited to Mobile's effect on health from the
radiowaves
that affect the body over time to the artificial lights that our eyes are
being exposed
to.
However
, the most impact it
makes
is on children, it can affect their brain development and cause addiction that affects their socializing abilities.
Similarly
, there are
dangers
to adults using mobiles in situations like driving, getting distracted while driving is
generally
believed to have increased the number of accidents, the devices'
radiowaves
might interfere with medical equipment or even in airplanes which would endanger others.

I believe that mobiles are necessary
because
they play a large part in the modern world,
On the other hand
, restrictions need to
be made
but
not as strict as mentioned
before
, I
think
it'd be beneficial to have restrictions on children's
use
but
not on adults
but
what matters
is
that everyone should be responsible in the
end
.
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IELTS essay Restrictions on mobile phones

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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