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Should animals be the friends of people or should they be regarded as the sources of people's food and clothes.Discuss both view and give your own opinions.

Should animals be the friends of people or should they be regarded as the sources of people's food and clothes. MlN6q
In the era of contemporary life, the usage of animals for different purposes has become an issue of broad interest to people from all strata. There is an ongoing conflict whether that animals should be treated like human and received well-nourished from their owners or others people argue that they are the main source to produce food and clothes for the society. In my view, rationale behind how animals are treated depends on the human needs and animal behavior. On the one hand, many people have considered dogs and cats as their friends for many centuries. This is because those are innocent living creatures and have the right to live like a human. Others sea creatures such as dolphins and monkeys serve for the purpose of entertainment. For example, a survey in Korea showed that more than 75% persons who spend their time playing with their pets namely dogs, cats and rabbits gain a great sense of happiness and reduce stress after a hard-working day. However, it is possible said that the role of living creatures play an integral role in our life. Nowadays the increasing consumption of meat such as beef, pork by residents in modern society, this has been passed on for many generations. Therefore, if we overlook the conception this is not only will impact on a particular individual but will also affect the whole society and the development of economy. Firstly, poultry farming and fishing farming represent for a huge industry. In other words, the standard of living of many farmers will be improved by a large amount of money the earned that jobs. What would happen if hunting animals for usage was banned? The rate of unemployment will rise, which causes a heavy burden on the government. Secondly, human must be prioritized over any animals in food chain. Thus, it is natural for us to prey upon animals. In conclusion, whether or not to consider animal as a companion or sources of food depend largely behavior and type of animal in question. Some acts as true companion whereas others don't.
In the era of contemporary life, the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes has become an issue of broad interest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all strata. There is an ongoing conflict whether that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be treated
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
and received well-nourished from their owners or others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that they are the main source to produce food and clothes for the society. In my view, rationale behind how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are treated
depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
needs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
behavior. On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have considered dogs and cats as their friends for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
centuries. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those are innocent living creatures and have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
. Others sea creatures such as dolphins and monkeys serve for the purpose of entertainment.
For example
, a survey in Korea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than 75% persons who spend their time playing with their pets
namely
dogs, cats and rabbits gain a great sense of happiness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working day.
However
, it is possible said that the role of living creatures play an integral role in our life. Nowadays the increasing consumption of meat such as beef, pork by residents in modern society, this has
been passed
on for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
generations.
Therefore
, if we overlook the conception this is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will impact on a particular individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
affect the whole society and the development of economy.
Firstly
, poultry farming and fishing farming represent for a huge industry. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the standard of living of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
farmers will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by a large amount of money the earned that jobs. What would happen if hunting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for usage
was banned
? The rate of unemployment will rise, which causes a heavy burden on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be prioritized
over any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in food chain.
Thus
, it is natural for us to prey upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
In conclusion
,
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
to consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
as a companion or sources of food
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depend on".
depend
largely
behavior and type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
in question.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
acts as true companion whereas others don't.
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IELTS essay Should animals be the friends of people or should they be regarded as the sources of people's food and clothes.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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