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Should an ordinary man be given a license to keep a revolver and gun?

Should an ordinary man be given a license to keep a revolver and gun? Wyn8W
Sometimes a sort of suggestion is raised which states that common natives be authorized by providing them with the licence of lethal weapons, namely revolver and gun. In this context, I strongly show my consent for which I am going to highlight a couple of legitimate reasons in my upcoming paragraphs. This is due to the fact that the present days are full of uncertainties as crime rates are increasing day by day. Therefore, to feel self-protected there is a necessity to possess the ammunition. Robberies, sexual assaults, for instance, is escalating. These kinds of incidents can be tackled by the people as they would feel more security by ceasing the crime on the spot. By this, the perpetrator would think twice to carry out such illegal activities. There is an added benefit of having arms, the crime rate will be plunged rapidly. To explain this as it would be easier for people to deal with any sort of harassment or any kinds of unpredictable situations. This would surely assist cops in terms of responsibility or we can say the burden to get decreased. This is all because of freedom a person may feel to take his or her decisions on the spot of any illegal activity. To sum up, I must say an ordinary man should be allowed to possess weapons through licence provided by the government in order to keep society free from any illegal activities to some extent.
Sometimes
a sort of suggestion
is raised
which states that common natives
be authorized
by providing them with the
licence
of lethal weapons,
namely
revolver and gun. In this context, I
strongly
show
my consent for which I am going to highlight a couple of legitimate reasons in my upcoming paragraphs.

This is due to the fact that
the present days are full of uncertainties as crime rates are increasing day by day.
Therefore
, to feel self-protected there is a necessity to possess the ammunition. Robberies, sexual assaults,
for instance
, is escalating. These kinds of incidents can
be tackled
by the
people
as they would feel more security by ceasing the crime on the spot. By this, the perpetrator would
think
twice to carry out such illegal activities.

There is an
added
benefit of having arms, the crime rate will
be plunged
rapidly
. To
explain
this as it would be easier for
people
to deal with any sort of harassment or any kinds of unpredictable situations. This would
surely
assist cops in terms of
responsibility or
we can say the burden to
get
decreased. This is all
because
of freedom a person may feel to take
his or her
decisions on the spot of any illegal activity.

To sum up, I
must
say an ordinary
man
should be
allowed
to possess weapons through
licence
provided by the
government
in order to
keep
society free from any illegal activities to
some
extent.
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IELTS essay Should an ordinary man be given a license to keep a revolver and gun?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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