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Doctors Should Be Responsible For Educating Their Patients About how to improve their health. Do you agree or not.

Doctors Should Be Responsible For Educating Their Patients About how to improve their health. Do you agree or not. 6xaLB
In recent days there were several news among the people that it is the responsibility of the professional medicinal to advise the common people to take care of their health. This perception had diverted the attention from the government to doctor professional. In this essay, I will examine what made the people to change the functional behaviours from politician to doctor professional, I feel it can have negative impact on society. One of the core functions of the government bodies is to take care of their citizens wellbeing despite of any unexpected situation, budget deficit, which threatened them to push the responsibility to private sector, particularly on people health factors. If the human conditions advise is handed over to private medicinal professional, they will deliver the results with motive of improving their business than the people health. For example, the doctors shall advise new vitamins supplement whereas it naturally not required but those has been prescribed just to promote the sales and boost revenue to their partners. Clearly, this authority handed over to private sector will primarily focus on increasing their financial stability rather than people health benefits. Following the negative impacts suggested to rescue the budget shortfall, the decisions made by the political leader shall have potential impact on common man life as well. People below poverty line will not have to access to health professional as their service fee is not subsidised by the government. The recent article published by WHO indicates that a visiting inpatient or outpatient demand minimum of fifty dollars per patient. This fee is ten times higher than average income of people below poverty line. Therefore, the impact from health care provider creating the awareness of the common people health may not be the best model under democratic system. In conclusion, the health care department suggesting the health communication and awareness to message should not permitted under to medical institution as their primary focus is to build the financial benefits not caring their patients wellbeing at first instance.
In recent days there were
Possible agreement error. The noun news seems to be uncountable; consider using: "some news".
several news
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
medicinal to advise the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This perception had diverted the attention from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to doctor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
. In this essay, I will examine what made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the functional
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
from politician to doctor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
, I feel it can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on society.

One of the core functions of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
bodies is to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their citizens
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
any unexpected situation, budget deficit, which threatened them to push the responsibility to private sector,
particularly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
factors. If the human conditions advise
is handed
over to private medicinal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
, they will deliver the results with motive of improving their
Use "(business)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
business
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For example
, the doctors shall advise new vitamins supplement whereas it
naturally
not required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
The verb 'has' is singular. Did you mean: "This has" or "those have", "those haven"?
those has
been prescribed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to promote the sales and boost revenue to their partners.
Clearly
, this authority handed over to private sector will
primarily
focus on increasing their financial stability
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
benefits.

Following the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
The verb 'suggested' is used with the gerund form: "suggested rescuing".
suggested to rescue
the budget shortfall, the decisions made by the political leader shall have potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
life
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
below poverty line will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
as their service fee is not
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidised' is British English.
subsidised
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. The recent article published by WHO indicates that a visiting inpatient or outpatient demand minimum of fifty dollars per patient. This fee is ten times higher than average income of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
below poverty line.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
provider creating the awareness of the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
may not be the best model under democratic system.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
department suggesting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
communication and awareness to message should not
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "permit"
permitted
under to medical institution as their primary focus is to build the financial benefits not caring their patients
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
at
first
instance.
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IELTS essay Doctors Should Be Responsible For Educating Their Patients About how to improve their health. Do you agree or not.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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