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Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? v.5

Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? v. 5
Modernization has resulted in the rapid expansion of cities, which has left its heritage and culture behind. Day by day new commercial complexes and other buildings are coming up in the place of older buildings. Sometimes historically significant buildings have been demolished to build new structures. This has stirred into an interesting debate on whether the historic buildings should become the prey of modernization or not. Firstly, conserving historical building is a means of transferring the ancestral legacy to future generations. These are a great means for our children to learn about our culture and heritage, also such monuments often give insight into our ancestor's lifestyle. Knowing our history and giving respect to it is very much important to advocate patriotism in young people. Secondly, such buildings will attract more tourists, hence, the tourism industry will grow. This brings more money, thus improves the lives of people over there. This money could be used to preserve and renovate such buildings. Additionally, a city becomes well known among other parts and this increases chances of getting more funds and investments. Finally, increased tourism means increased income. To cater to the increasing number of tourists’ new hotels, resorts and better facilities have to be built. Apart from bringing more money, it increases employment opportunities too. In my opinion, preserving such buildings would greatly benefit the economy and also teaches future generations about their history, culture and traditions. Furthermore, it significantly contributes to infrastructure developments and modernization, at the same time allows saving cultural beauty.
Modernization has resulted in the rapid expansion of cities, which has
left
its heritage and culture behind. Day by day new commercial complexes and other
buildings
are coming up in the place of older
buildings
.
Sometimes
historically
significant
buildings
have
been demolished
to build new structures. This has stirred into an interesting debate on whether the historic
buildings
should become the prey of modernization or not.

Firstly
, conserving historical
building
is a means of transferring the ancestral legacy to future generations. These are a great means for our children to learn about our culture and heritage,
also
such monuments
often
give insight into our ancestor's lifestyle. Knowing our history and giving respect to it is
very
much
important
to advocate patriotism in young
people
.

Secondly
, such
buildings
will attract more tourists,
hence
, the tourism industry will grow. This brings more money,
thus
improves
the
lives
of
people
over there. This money could be
used
to preserve and renovate such
buildings
.
Additionally
, a city becomes well known among other parts and this increases chances of getting more funds and investments.

Finally
, increased tourism means increased income. To cater to the increasing number of tourists’ new hotels, resorts and better facilities
have to
be built
. Apart from bringing more money, it increases employment opportunities too.

In my opinion, preserving such
buildings
would
greatly
benefit the economy and
also
teaches future generations about their history, culture and traditions.
Furthermore
, it
significantly
contributes to infrastructure developments and modernization, at the same time
allows
saving cultural beauty.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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