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Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? v.4

Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? v. 4
Some people think that old, historic buildings are no need for the city and they should be destroyed and replaced with modern ones. However, other people believe that historic buildings must be preserved in order to know and remember our past. For several reasons that I will mention bellow, I agree with those people who want to preserve old, historical buildings. First of all, by preserving historical buildings we pass our history to our future generations. I think that our children should know their history, learn from it and respect it. People need to know their traditions and customs, which are priceless and irreplaceable. Our history is our knowledge and power. In my opinion, we need to preserve and restore historical buildings. By destroying them we show our disrespect to our forefathers and their traditions. Second of all, by preserving historical buildings a city can attract many travellers. Welcoming tourists a city can get many benefits including money, which can be spent on preserving historical buildings as well as on improving roads and facilities. Every city has its own tradition and history which is reflected through the art and creation of the building mostly. Destroying those heritage means destroying the old value and history. Also, many tourists mean a lot of new business opportunities. Another important aspect of this is that businessmen will be willing to build new recreational centres, hotels, movie theatres, shopping centres to make a city more attractive to travellers. In addition to those practical benefits, many people will have the opportunity to get a job. All this is good for the economy of the city. To sum up, I believe that preserving old, historical buildings can bring only benefits to a city and all humankind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are no need for the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
city and
they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
and replaced with modern ones.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be preserved
in order to know and remember our past. For several reasons that I will mention bellow, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
buildings.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
we pass our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
to our future generations. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that our children should know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, learn from it and respect it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to know their traditions and customs, which are priceless and irreplaceable. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is our knowledge and power. In my opinion, we need to preserve and restore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. By destroying them we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
our disrespect to our forefathers and their traditions.

Second of all, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
a city can attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
. Welcoming tourists a city can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits including money, which can
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
as well
as on improving roads and facilities. Every city has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
tradition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
which
is reflected
through the art and creation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
mostly
. Destroying those heritage means destroying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
value and history.

Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists mean
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new business opportunities. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of this is that businessmen will be willing to build new recreational
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, hotels, movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a city more attractive to
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
.
In addition
to those practical benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job. All this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the economy of the city.

To sum up, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefits to a city and all humankind.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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