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Shops should be the preference in selling local food rather than imported food. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Shops should be the preference in selling local food rather than imported food. v. 2
It is considered that indigenous diets should be preferred over the imported ones as a selling product. While it would appear that the latter its own significance, former is more beneficial because of its nutritions and fewer chemicals. At the outset, it seems that the distribution of local foods has numerous bounties. Firstly, it is fresher and much nutritious as it is harvested shortly beforehand. When food is allowed to ripen on the plant before it is picked, it contains more vitamins and minerals that are crucial for a healthy life. For instance, food scientist has proved that the local fruit is much healthy because of its freshness. Secondly, fewer preservatives have been added in local foods as there is no need to store it for the long term. For instance, locally produced bananas and apples are directly sold in markets, so no chemicals are added to preserve these. Therefore, for healthy communities, local food products are in inevitably required to be sold in and abundance. On the other hand, imported food products should be abandoned in local shops because of the following drawbacks. Stiff competition is provided on the native farmers in the presence of imported diets. It is because of the increment of the choices of the consumers. To exemplify, some people might want to purchase foreign food item, which may affect the sale of locally grown foods. So, it could lead to more competition to stay in business. Moreover, owing to the additional costs, such as transportation and duties, imported food items are more expensive. For example, price rates of imported Mangoes are at least two-fold as compared to the local ones. Hence, imported foods must be discarded to get rid of the aforementioned aspects. In conclusion, this essay discussed why imported commodities had better be Prohibited. In my opinion, selling of local food must be done for its various benefits.
It
is considered
that indigenous diets should
be preferred
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
as a selling product. While it would appear that the latter its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance, former is more beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
and fewer chemicals.

At the outset, it seems that the distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
has numerous bounties.
Firstly
, it is fresher and much nutritious as it
is harvested
shortly beforehand. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to ripen on the plant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
is picked
, it contains more vitamins and minerals that are crucial for a healthy life.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
scientist has proved that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
fruit is much healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its freshness.
Secondly
, fewer preservatives have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
as there is no need to store it for the long term.
For instance
,
locally
produced bananas and apples are
directly
sold in markets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no chemicals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to preserve these.
Therefore
, for healthy communities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products are in
inevitably
required to
be sold
in and abundance.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products should
be abandoned
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the following drawbacks. Stiff competition
is provided
on the native farmers in the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
diets. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increment of the choices of the consumers. To exemplify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
item, which may affect the sale of
locally
grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it could lead to more competition to stay in business.
Moreover
, owing to the additional costs, such as transportation and duties,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items are more expensive.
For example
, price rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
Mangoes are at least two-fold as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be discarded
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the aforementioned aspects.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
commodities had better
be Prohibited
. In my opinion, selling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
for its various benefits.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Shops should be the preference in selling local food rather than imported food. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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