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Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations? v.7

These days, in our rapidly changing world a number of university student stay with their families when pursuing their higher education, some choose to live for away. In this essay, I will analyze both pros and cons of the two opinions. Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of living with families when going to local universities. One of the main positives is that students can minimize their expenditure on rent, utility bills and renovation are no longer concerns. Consequently, students can set aside financial worries and focus solely on their studies and improve their performance. Nevertheless, studying with families also means that students have to face with strict supervision and a lot of buildings living in their parents houses undergraduates will have to live by the norms and rules that their parents set, which can be restricting and frustrating at times. On the other hand, living away from home for further education can be a life time experience for many students. In fact, living far away from home can teach students invaluable lessons that can assist them when joining a future workforce. When living alone, they will have to take care of themselves as well as learn to tolerate and overcome difficult times, which will not only help harness their many skills but also provide them with a sense of freedom. However, living on their own means that students will have to shoulder a lot more duties and responsibilities without the support from their family. In conclusion, though staying with family’s cab relieve students of financial problems it can as well deprive students of their freedom. In contrast living another accommodation, though provides salutary lessons, may cause a lot more discouragement to undergraduates.
These days, in our
rapidly
changing world a number of university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
when pursuing their higher education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for away. In this essay, I will analyze both pros and cons of the two opinions.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
when going to local universities. One of the main positives is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can minimize their expenditure on rent, utility bills and renovation are no longer concerns.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can set aside financial worries and focus
solely
on their studies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their performance.
Nevertheless
, studying with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
also
means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face with strict supervision and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
buildings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in their parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
undergraduates will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
by the norms and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
that their parents set, which can be restricting and frustrating at times.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from home for
further
education can be a
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
life time
experience for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
far away from home can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
invaluable lessons that can assist them when joining a future workforce. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of themselves
as well
as learn to tolerate and overcome difficult times, which will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
harness their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provide them with a sense of freedom.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
shoulder a lot more duties and responsibilities without the support from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
In conclusion
, though staying with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
cab relieve
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students
of financial problems

it can
as well
deprive
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students
of their freedom. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
another accommodation, though provides salutary lessons, may cause a lot more discouragement to undergraduates.
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IELTS essay Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages both situations?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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