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Shopping is always a necessity for everyone, and nowadays most of the peoples do it for fun as well.

Shopping is always a necessity for everyone, and nowadays most of the peoples do it for fun as well. Since the mega malls are coming into place so peoples are moving there for their shopping purposes and that affected the business of local shops and today I put some light on this topic. People nowadays want convenience in their life and they don't want to visit multiple shops to buy different categories of stuff. For example: if want household items they need to visit a local shop which only sells this category or at the same time if they want to buy some furniture they need to visit some other local shop to fulfill their need rather than do that they likely to visit one single place where they can buy each and everything which they want under a single roof. For that need, they prefer a large shopping mall because there they can get competitive prices, better presentation of items, good quality with a range of products, and customer services. Also if they are shopping with their children so they can leave their children in the play area that is only available somewhere in the large shopping mall because this actually gives them peace of mind to shop. one more reason for this preference is that after shopping when they feel tired so they can have a meal as well in the food court. Although what I think that this is a positive development because you can shop and your children can have fun at the same time and you don't need to visit multiple places worry about the parking space looking for the good quality stuff and on the other hand this is also affecting the business of the local shops which actually affect the economy of the country because local shop owners having an only way of their earning is from their shop which is now not in a condition to fulfill their expense and lead toward the clouser.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
is always a necessity for everyone, and nowadays most of the peoples do it for fun
as well
. Since the mega malls are coming into
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
peoples are moving there for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
purposes and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the business of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
I put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on this topic.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
convenience in their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories of stuff.
For example
: if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
household items they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sells this category or at the same time if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
furniture they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
to fulfill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
rather
than do that they likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
one single place where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
each and everything which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
under a single roof.

For that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
, they prefer a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
competitive prices, better presentation of items,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality with a range of products, and customer services.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
if they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
with their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their children in the play area
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available somewhere in the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this actually gives them peace of mind to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
one
more reason for this preference is that after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
when they feel tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can have a meal
as well
in the food court.

Although what I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
and your children can have fun at the same
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
you don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
multiple places worry about the parking space looking for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality stuff and
on the other hand
this is
also
affecting the business of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
which actually affect the economy of the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners having an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way of their earning is from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
not in a condition to fulfill their expense and lead toward the
Possible spelling mistake found.
clouser
.
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IELTS essay Shopping is always a necessity for everyone, and nowadays most of the peoples do it for fun as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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