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Shopping Habits of people mainly depend on the age group they belong to To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Shopping Habits of people mainly depend on the age group they belong to v. 1
In the modern era professor are playing a vital role in child's life without teachers, student cannot achieve goals in life. Some individuals claim that tutors should be friendly with their learners whereas, others opine supervisor should be sticking with their students. Teachers support to student achieve good result. I believe that teachers should be friendly with their students I will discuss both viewpoint and give an opinion in the upcoming paragraph. On the one hand, those people who believe that lecturers should be very strict with their students. First of all, nowadays many children who do not like to study so it is better for them and secondly some pupil have bad behaviour, and they behave badly with their friendly teachers. Therefore teachers should be very strict and in this way graduate learns many things from their schoolteacher. On the flip side, some people claim that teachers should be friendly. First of all, if teachers are friendly, junior can share problems with their teachers which are faced by the learners in studies. It will be very beneficial for students. Secondly tutors motivate to their undergraduate work together in a team. So that, they learn many skills like, how to corporate with each other and students get a chance to bring out the hidden talent with singing, painting, dancing and many more. Another point is that if friendly disciples teach to their students and pupil understand easily from friendly friendly teachers. Students help to set their career. To sum up, I would say that every coin has two sides. So that coach have two facets, strictly and friendly and I think student should learn many things from professor, as instructor guide to their students much better than artificial intelligence machines and it is very beneficial for school followers in the future and they can learn many things from the teachers.
In the modern era professor are playing a vital role in child's life without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
cannot achieve goals in life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals claim that tutors should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendly
with their learners whereas, others opine supervisor should be sticking with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
result. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendly
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
I will discuss both viewpoint and give an opinion in the upcoming paragraph.

On the one hand, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that lecturers should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children who do not like to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is better for them and
secondly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pupil have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, and they behave
badly
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict and in this way graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from their schoolteacher.

On the flip side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendly
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendly
, junior can share problems with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
which
are faced
by the learners in studies. It will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Secondly
tutors motivate to their undergraduate work together in a team.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like, how to corporate with each other and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to bring out the hidden talent with singing, painting, dancing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Another point is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendly
disciples teach to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and pupil understand
easily
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to set their career.

To sum up, I would say that every coin has two sides.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "that coach has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that coach have
two facets,
strictly
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendly
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from professor, as instructor guide to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
much better than artificial intelligence machines and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for school followers in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
future and
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Shopping Habits of people mainly depend on the age group they belong to v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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