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Share your top idea on how you will help champion increasing diversity in engineering?

Share your top idea on how you will help champion increasing diversity in engineering? jRDVy
Firstly, the optimum way to achieve diversity is by ensuring that you have a strong diverse applicant pool. The best way to achieve that would be to ensure that any candidate, regardless of gender, ethnicity, age, disability, social class, caste, and economic status has an equal opportunity. Diverse teams are stronger teams, they are better teams, they are more effective teams at solving the kinds of complex problems. Having a diverse set of points of view, approaches and skillsets will get to the best solution faster. Secondly, by bringing all social classes in one place. Then this will definitely be in a diverse situation. Transforming equality and diversity in education will be achieved better and faster by men and women working together in partnership, with strong top-down leadership essential to drive sustainable commitment. Moreover, working in groups and by educating ourselves with new ideas and also stop judging by personal factors. Thus, these ideas will help champion increasing diversity in engineering.
Firstly
, the optimum way to achieve diversity is by ensuring that you have a strong
diverse
applicant pool. The best way to achieve that would be to ensure that any candidate, regardless of gender, ethnicity, age, disability, social
class
, caste, and economic status has an equal opportunity.
Diverse
teams
are stronger
teams
, they are better
teams
, they are more effective
teams
at solving the kinds of complex problems. Having a
diverse
set of points of view, approaches and
skillsets
will
get
to the best solution faster.

Secondly
, by bringing all social classes in one place. Then this will definitely be in a
diverse
situation. Transforming equality and diversity in education will
be achieved
better and faster by
men
and women working together in partnership, with strong top-down leadership essential to drive sustainable commitment.
Moreover
, working in groups and by educating ourselves with new
ideas
and
also
stop
judging by personal factors.
Thus
, these
ideas
will
help
champion increasing diversity in engineering.
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IELTS essay Share your top idea on how you will help champion increasing diversity in engineering?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
161 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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