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Shall partents let their kids participate in activities without the guarantee they might win?

Shall partents let their kids participate in activities without the guarantee they might win? dlOyo
There are some partents that will not allow their kids to participate at sports or competitions where a prize for everychild is granted, they claim it is because they care for the infant emotions, but, is that good for them? My answer is no, it is not good for them. Now, how can possibly be there something wrong with wanting to avoid your kid a heartbrake for not winning? For sure there is nothing wrong with that, but acting upon that desire will have a strong impact in our children's perseption towards the world and how they react when the parent does not have the oportunity to control if his or her kid may win or not. It is important that children get the oportunity to learn how to lose proeperly; this will also help them know how to win. It is vital for children to get the oportunity to participate in a real way, discover what they are good at and what not. Of course, loosing at a competence might make children feel frustrated or bad sometimes, but, as parents, we must avoide that. We have to teach kids the propper management of feelings, teach them that loosing is not something bad and winning is not all that matters in the world. When we let kids learn how to manage their emotions and feelings we make greater adults, responsable for what they do, nevertheless, it works in their childhood too. In conclussion, there is a greater benefit for themselves if we let kids learn how to participate and we confort them, as we should, if they feel blue as a result.
There are
some
partents
that will not
allow
their
kids
to participate at sports or competitions where a prize for
everychild
is granted
, they claim it is
because
they care for the infant emotions,
but
, is that
good
for them? My answer is no, it is not
good
for them.

Now
, how can
possibly
be there something
wrong
with wanting to avoid your
kid
a
heartbrake
for not winning? For sure there is nothing
wrong
with that,
but
acting upon that desire will have a strong impact in our children's
perseption
towards the world and how they react when the parent does not have the
oportunity
to control if
his or her
kid
may win or not.

It is
important
that children
get
the
oportunity
to learn how to lose
proeperly
; this will
also
help
them know how to win. It is vital for children to
get
the
oportunity
to participate
in a real way
, discover what they are
good
at and what not.
Of course
, loosing at a competence might
make
children feel frustrated or
bad
sometimes
,
but
, as parents, we
must
avoide
that. We
have to
teach
kids
the
propper
management of feelings, teach them that loosing is not something
bad
and winning is not all that matters in the world.

When we
let
kids
learn how to manage their emotions and feelings we
make
greater adults,
responsable
for what they do,
nevertheless
, it works in their childhood too. In
conclussion
, there is a greater benefit for themselves if we
let
kids
learn how to
participate and
we
confort
them, as we should, if they feel blue
as a result
.
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IELTS essay Shall partents let their kids participate in activities without the guarantee they might win?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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