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describe the life of a singer that you admire

describe the life of a singer that you admire rGwwJ
I am an art lover and am always looking for real artists to admire and follow. And my favorite singer is Kim Namjoon, a singer from BTS, Korea. I love him not only because of his talent but also because of his intelligence, perseverance and effort on the way to pursue his own passion. I will tell you an interesting story of him. Once a candidate with the highest score in the Korean university entrance exam and the top 5000 good students in the country, Kim Namjoon's family did not want him to pursue art, but wanted him to follow a safe path. more complete. But not because of that, his passion was extinguished. Namjoon shared, "At that time, I was in the top 5000 good students nationwide and the company (Big Hit) thought I was very talented. No matter how hard I studied, I was still only in the top 5000 worldwide. gender". But one person told me that I could become No. 1 by rapping, I asked my mother: "Mom, do you want a child that ranks 5000 or a son that ranks #1? " I asked my mother, “Mom, do you want a child ranked number 5000 or a son ranked number 1? ” And so she agreed. " In the process of practicing and debuting, Namjoon and BTS faced many objections, because the entertainment industry in Korea is very harsh. However, since 2016, BTS has gradually received domestic awards. And by 2021, the music awards that the group has won are not only in Korea but also spread internationally. The story of Kim Namjoon and the whole BTS group gives me a lot of motivation and inspiration. They always bring positive things through music, always understand and bring meaningful life philosophies. That's why I've always admired them.
I am an art lover and am always looking for real artists to admire and follow. And my favorite singer is Kim
Namjoon
, a singer from BTS, Korea.

I
love
him not
only
because
of his talent
but
also
because
of his intelligence, perseverance and effort on the way to pursue his
own
passion.

I will
tell
you an interesting story of him. Once a candidate with the highest score in the Korean university entrance exam and the top 5000
good
students in the country, Kim
Namjoon
's family did not want him to pursue art,
but
wanted him to follow a safe path.
more
complete.
But
not
because
of that, his passion
was extinguished
.

Namjoon
shared,
"
At that time, I was in the top 5000
good
students nationwide and the
company
(
Big
Hit)
thought
I was
very
talented. No matter how
hard
I studied, I was
still
only
in the top 5000 worldwide.
gender
"
.
But
one person
told
me that I could become No. 1 by rapping, I asked my mother:
"
Mom, do you want a child that ranks 5000 or a son that ranks #1?
"
I asked my mother, “Mom, do you want a child ranked number 5000 or a son ranked number 1? ” And
so
she
agreed
.
"


In the process of practicing and debuting,
Namjoon
and BTS faced
many
objections,
because
the entertainment industry in Korea is
very
harsh.
However
, since 2016, BTS has
gradually
received domestic awards. And by 2021, the music awards that the group has won are not
only
in Korea
but
also
spread
internationally
.

The story of Kim
Namjoon
and the whole BTS group gives me
a lot of
motivation and inspiration. They always bring
positive
things through music, always understand and bring meaningful life philosophies. That's why I've always admired them.
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IELTS essay describe the life of a singer that you admire

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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