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Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion. v.6

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. v. 6
In recent decades, spending the national budget on preserving minority languages has become a topic of discussion as those languages are on the verge of extinction. Although some might oppose this idea due to its seemingly insignificant benefits, this is the most appropriate use of government money. There have been many good reasons why preserving minority languages would be a waste of money. First, since there are few people speaking endangered languages these days, preserving those languages may result in little benefit. In fact, those speaking minority languages would face many difficulties in interacting with people from different cultures, which potentially undermines the preservation. In addition, since these languages are only spoken by small communities, educational programs and facilities needed to encourage people to learn them would be prohibitively expensive. In fact, this money might be better spent on other public services, which contributes more to the society. However, there are certain reasons why minority languages should be preserved. First, languages spoken by ethnic minority people and their cultural identity are closely related. For example, the ways in which the minorities use their languages would reflect their belief systems, values, and assumptions. In addition, if endangered languages were not preserved, the traditional values would likely be compromised, as languages are vitally important parts of a culture. Therefore, protecting those languages will ensure the existence of the intangible values and traditional customs of the minorities, thereby maintaining cultural diversity. In conclusion, even though saving minority languages initially appears insignificant, the efforts to preserve those languages offer many advantages overall. By focus government spending on language preservation, the cultural heritage will be greatly benefited.
In recent decades, spending the national budget on preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
has become a topic of discussion as those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are on the verge of extinction. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might oppose this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
due to its
seemingly
insignificant benefits, this is the most appropriate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
money.

There have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reasons why preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
would be a waste of money.
First
, since there are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
speaking endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
these days, preserving those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
may result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
benefit. In fact, those speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
would face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties in interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, which
potentially
undermines the preservation.
In addition
, since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
spoken by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
communities, educational programs and facilities needed to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn them would be
prohibitively
expensive.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
fact, this money might be better spent on other public services, which contributes more to the society.

However
, there are certain reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
should
be preserved
.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
spoken by ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their cultural identity are
closely
related.
For example
, the ways in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
would reflect their belief systems, values, and assumptions.
In addition
, if endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
were not preserved, the traditional values would likely
be compromised
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
parts of a culture.
Therefore
, protecting those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
will ensure the existence of the intangible values and traditional customs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minorities
, thereby maintaining cultural diversity.

In conclusion
,
even though
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
initially
appears insignificant, the efforts to preserve those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages
overall
. By focus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
preservation, the cultural heritage will be
greatly
benefited.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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