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Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion. v.5

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. v. 5
It is true that some languages are in danger of dying. Many people hold the view that governments should spend money on preserving these languages, while others feel it is waste of money. Personally, I believe that these languages should be saved. There are several reasons why saving languages are waste of money. Firstly, It is clear that extinction languages are spoken by small numbers of people and It is not beneficial to save them. For example, If governments spend money on literature or art in order to save their languages, It cannot give nothing useful for people and governments. Because musicians and writers who speak in dying tongue cannot be well known or appreciated around the world. This money might be better spent on other public services. Secondly, It would be cheaper and more beneficial to have only one language. Governments could save up their budget by cutting all kinds of costs related to making communication with each minority group. Despite above arguments, I think that public money should be spent on saving these languages. First of all, everybody knows that one language strongly related with countries' history, tradition and culture. Furthermore, If one language dies, It means that people who speak this tongue will lose their identity and their history of life. Before languages become extinct, governments should take some steps in order to preserve languages. In addition by spending money on protecting languages, government can preserve traditions, customs and behaviours that part of a one person's history. In conclusion, It is clear that some languages are dying out, but governments shouldn't save money by allowing them to disappear.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of dying.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on preserving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, while others feel it is waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Personally
, I believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
should
be saved
.

There are several reasons why saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Firstly
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that extinction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are spoken
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and It is not beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
them.
For example
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on literature or art in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, It cannot give nothing useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
musicians and writers who speak in dying tongue cannot be well known or appreciated around the world. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
might be better spent on other public services.
Secondly
, It would be cheaper and more beneficial to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
up their budget by cutting all kinds of costs related to making communication with each minority group.

Despite above arguments, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
on saving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, everybody knows that one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
strongly
related with countries' history, tradition and culture.
Furthermore
, If one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dies
, It means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who speak this tongue will lose their identity and their history of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
become extinct,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps in order to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can preserve traditions, customs and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
that part of a one person's history.

In conclusion
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are dying out,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
shouldn't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by allowing them to disappear.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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