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Self-study is an integral part of attaining achievements, and there are some obviously advantages of it

Self-study is an integral part of attaining achievements, and there are some obviously advantages of it AJgmN
Self-study is an integral part of attaining achievements, and there are some obviously advantages of it. First, study youself economizes a huge number of money for your parents. That would be benefical for you to maintain pursuing higher education if your family circumstances wasn’t good. It also relieve burden on your shoulder so as for students to put their heart and soul into studying. Second, self-study develops people’s consciousness of studying which will be very significant to each one’s future job. People who just depend on other may be paid off by their employers because these people could spend all day on entertainment if they weren’t reminded. Third, when people study themselves, they may find out the interest in doing something their own. For example, a student who do the homework his self is proud and satisfied of his work although the exercises aren’t completely correct, that makes his achievements more meaningful. The knowledge inculcate their mind far more than the dependant on reminders. In conclusion, students should study themselves so that they could develop personality perfectly and attain their objective.
Self-study is an integral part of attaining achievements, and there are
some
obviously
advantages of it.
First
, study
youself
economizes a huge number of money for your parents. That would be
benefical
for you to maintain pursuing higher education if your family circumstances wasn’t
good
. It
also
relieve
burden on your shoulder
so
as for students to put their heart and soul into studying. Second, self-study develops
people’s
consciousness of studying which will be
very
significant to each one’s future job.
People
who
just
depend on other may
be paid
off by their employers
because
these
people
could spend all day on entertainment if they weren’t reminded. Third, when
people
study themselves, they may find out the interest in doing something their
own
.
For example
, a student who do the homework his self is proud and satisfied of his work although the exercises aren’t completely correct, that
makes
his achievements more meaningful. The knowledge inculcate their mind far more than the
dependant
on reminders.
In conclusion
, students should study themselves
so
that they could develop personality
perfectly
and attain their objective.
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IELTS essay Self-study is an integral part of attaining achievements, and there are some obviously advantages of it

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
181 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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