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Self experiance Road to PSRU Ambassador

Self experiance Road to PSRU Ambassador war2n
I strongly believed everyone must be having their most and exciting experience in their lives. I have had one too. It happened when I was a first year student. I had the opportunity to participate in the PSRU Ambassador 2020 competition. I practiced with many friends. They were very adorable and helpful. Everyone expected to bring victory to their faculties. I expected to win this competition as well. So, I had to intend and practice hard, such as walking like a model, answering questions and improving my personality to be better. I was so exhausted, But never frustrated. Since, It was my cup of tea. When the day of the competition comes. I was so nervous, Because that day everyone looked really good. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Fortunately, I got encouragement from my friends in field. It made me confident. I did it best. Finally, I won the competition on that day. And now I’m a PSRU Ambassador 2020.
I
strongly
believed everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be having their most and exciting experience in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I have had one too. It happened when I was a
first
year student. I had the opportunity to participate in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
PSRU
Ambassador 2020
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
. I practiced with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
friends. They were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
adorable and helpful. Everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to bring victory to their faculties. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to win this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I had to intend and practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, such as walking
Comparison is written 'as walking "as"'.
like
a model, answering questions and improving my personality to be better. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
exhausted,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
never frustrated.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
, It was my cup of tea.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
the day of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
nervous,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
that day everyone looked
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. It made me feel like I wasn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
Fortunately
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
encouragement from my friends in field. It made me confident. I did it best.
Finally
, I won the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
on that day. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I’m a
Possible spelling mistake found.
PSRU
Ambassador 2020.

IELTS essay Self experiance Road to PSRU Ambassador

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
164 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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