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Many modern families are choosing to take children to school by car rather than allow them to walk or cycle. School authorities should discourage this trend. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many modern families are choosing to take children to school by car rather than allow them to walk or cycle. School authorities should discourage this trend. Q80Py
Nowadays, with economic development, the standard of living is improving, and more and more of the quantity of car ownership is growing. As a result, these families are likely to take their children to school by car instead of letting them walk or go by bicycle. I have several valid reasons to agree with school authorities that this tendency should not encourage. As we know, cars could bring great conveniences which include saving time and making us feel comfortable. At the same time, it created new problems and air pollution is at the top of the list. Until now, we have not had effective solutions for the treatment of exhaust fumes yet, thus parents should foster the next generations’ concern for environmental protection by using cycles or walking to school. In addition, to provide for the family, parents worked hard so using cars and arranging to drop off and collect their children at school showed their love and effort to bring the best thing for them. However, a coin has two sides, this may lead to the decline of dependent ability, they gradually form negative habits which, more transparently, are connected with a sedentary lifestyle and passive life and not initiative. Many used this way to supervise and ensure the safety of their children nevertheless they limited the development of sociability of their offspring. While others go to school together by walking or cycling, they could create more memories and be more sympathetic to each other. Moreover, after school, a stream of people gather at the gate place, the appearance of loads of cars will increase the risk of traffic jams. Especially, because of the difference between better-off and poor families, students may divide into some distinct groups and the gap between them exists fairly clear, and the equality becomes difficult to uphold. Weighing up both sides of the argument, I believe the policy of school authorities regarding discouraging this trend is reasonable. Parents should mull over issues and have suitable adjustments.
Nowadays, with economic development, the standard of living is improving, and more and more of the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership is growing.
As a result
, these families are likely to take their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
instead
of letting them walk or go by bicycle. I have several valid reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
authorities that this tendency should not encourage.

As we know,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
could bring great conveniences which include saving time and making us feel comfortable. At the same time, it created new problems and air pollution is at the top of the list. Until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, we have not had effective solutions for the treatment of exhaust fumes
yet
,
thus
parents should foster the
next
generations’ concern for environmental protection by using cycles or walking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
In addition
, to provide for the family, parents worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and arranging to drop off and collect their children at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and effort to bring the best thing for them.
However
, a coin has two sides, this may lead to the decline of dependent ability, they
gradually
form
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
habits which, more
transparently
,
are connected
with a sedentary lifestyle and passive life and not initiative.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
this way to supervise and ensure the safety of their children
nevertheless
they limited the development of sociability of their offspring. While others go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
together by walking or cycling, they could create more memories and be more sympathetic to each other.
Moreover
, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, a stream of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gather at the gate place, the appearance of loads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
will increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of traffic jams.
Especially
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the difference between better-off and poor families, students may divide into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
distinct groups and the gap between them exists
fairly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, and the equality becomes difficult to uphold.

Weighing up both sides of the argument, I believe the policy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
authorities regarding discouraging this trend is reasonable. Parents should mull over issues and have suitable adjustments.
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IELTS essay Many modern families are choosing to take children to school by car rather than allow them to walk or cycle. School authorities should discourage this trend.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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