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Search for more information about: a diet method & Obisety (what? Harmfulness)

Search for more information about: a diet method & Obisety (what? Harmfulness) 0EOjQ
Nowadays, there has been a considerable increase in the obesity rate of young people due to unhealthy diet. As a result, it may bring people many drawbacks and affect human life seriously. The first disadvantage is that obesity has a severe impact on human health. Getting obese may weaken the immune system. It makes the body sensitive to the external factors. In addition, their excessive consumption of fat may cause many diseases including diabetes, digestive disorder, fatty liver and so on. Seriously, it may lead to death. The second one is its psychological issue. In fact, overweight people may be bullied, which is likely to fall into depression and hurt their mental health. If they are mentally injuried for a long time, it will make them commit suicide. In conclusion, it is necessary to have a reasonable, healthy diet to protect our health and avoid the harmful effects of obesity.
Nowadays, there has been a considerable increase in the obesity rate of young
people
due to unhealthy diet.
As a result
, it may bring
people
many
drawbacks and affect human life
seriously
.

The
first
disadvantage is that obesity has a severe impact on human health. Getting obese may weaken the immune system. It
makes
the body sensitive to the external factors.
In addition
, their excessive consumption of
fat
may cause
many
diseases including diabetes, digestive disorder, fatty liver and
so
on.
Seriously
, it may lead to death.

The second one is its psychological issue. In fact, overweight
people
may
be bullied
, which is likely to fall into depression and hurt their mental health. If they are mentally
injuried
for a long time, it will
make
them commit suicide.

In conclusion
, it is necessary to have a reasonable, healthy diet to protect our health and avoid the harmful effects of obesity.
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IELTS essay Search for more information about: a diet method & Obisety (what? Harmfulness)

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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