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Scientists have reported that junk food is detrimental to health.

Scientists have reported that junk food is detrimental to health. 9Yppp
These days, the fact that most of people have a tendency to consume an enormous amount of junk cousin is alarming as it can put their health in danger in the future. Thus, scientists are trying to take some serious methods to prevent it. Although I kinda agree with that statement, but this essay will discuss both of the issues. To begin with, junk food is getting more and more cheaper nowadays. And people who have not enough money to afford them healthy and wealthy food, have to consume fast food. In addition, it is faster and convenient to eat it while you are running late for example, also it is assumed to be delicious and reasonably priced. But when it comes to the other part of taking fast food, I would like to write the disadvantages of it. Young generation may underestimate the impact that junk food can apply on their bodies and health. Moreover, it may lead to several deceases such as obesity, diabetes or even heart attacks. As a result, people find it not urgent to start caring for their good physical condition. In conclusion, apart from education efforts among government, schools and individuals might be the optimal choice for this issue.
These days, the fact that most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a tendency to consume an enormous amount of junk cousin is alarming as it can put their health in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
in the future.
Thus
, scientists are trying to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it. Although I kinda
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this essay will discuss both of the issues.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is getting more and
Use only "cheaper" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more cheaper
nowadays. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to afford them healthy and wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In addition
, it is faster and convenient to eat it while you are running late
for example
,
also
it
is assumed
to be delicious and
reasonably
priced.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the other part of taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, I would like to write the disadvantages of it.

Young generation may underestimate the impact that junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can apply on their bodies and health.
Moreover
, it may lead to several deceases such as obesity, diabetes or even heart attacks.

As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find it not urgent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
caring for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical condition.

In conclusion
, apart from education efforts among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, schools and individuals might be the optimal choice for this issue.
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IELTS essay Scientists have reported that junk food is detrimental to health.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
205 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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