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Many tourists today fly straight to their holiday rosort and almost never return home

Many tourists today fly straight to their holiday rosort and almost never return home OrkEE
Base on nationwide travel magazine, a large number of tourists in recent years fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never come back home. However, the 1960s and 70s’ tourists, they come back home without any local culture experience. I think recently tourists stay more and more in their holiday destination since it is easier and faster to go on a trip even in the most furthest places. Moreover, they might have so much fun and new hobbies and entertainments that they want to get back on their hectic stressful life. Technology has developed in all over the world over past decades and along with that means of transportation and other travel facilities have improved. Consequently, tourist can just choose their holiday resort and get all information about it by a click and get there as soon as they book their flight and finish travel arrangements. However, there weren’t as many travel agency and comfortable holiday resort as we see today. For instance, even some holiday resorts didn’t have access to electricity so people may not have wanted to stay for a long time and would have rather to be back home soon. Therefore, the more convenient it get, the more tourists want to stay. Tourists might as well postpone their flight back home owning to how much fun and comfort they feel. They want their trip to never come to an end and then have to be back home to deal with their responsibilities and duties. Also they might find out more and more hobbies and activities that they couldn’t have at home, such as sport activities or wild safari and go sightseeing. So all these new found adventures make it hard to even think of returning to their busy life at home. To sum up, recently traveling isn’t take much time and effort so tourists find it easier to travel and spend much more time at their destination while having fun.
Base on nationwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
magazine,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in recent years
fly
straight to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resort
and almost never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
home.
However
, the 1960s and 70s’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
home without any local culture experience.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
recently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
stay more and more in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
destination since it is easier and faster to go on a trip even in the
Use only "furthest" (without 'most') when you use the superlative.
most furthest
places.
Moreover
, they might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
fun and new hobbies and entertainments that they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
on their hectic stressful life.

Technology has developed in all over the world over past decades and along with that means of transportation and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
facilities have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resort
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all information about it by a click and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
there as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they book their flight and finish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
arrangements.
However
, there weren’t as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
agency and comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resort
as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
For instance
, even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resorts
didn’t have access to electricity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may not have wanted to stay for a long time and would have
rather
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
Therefore
, the more convenient it
Did you mean "gets"?
get
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
want to stay.

Tourists might
as well
postpone their flight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
home owning
to how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
fun and comfort they feel. They want their trip to never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
and then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
home to deal with their responsibilities and duties.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
they might find out more and more hobbies and activities that they couldn’t have at home, such as sport activities or wild safari and go sightseeing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
all these
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
new found
adventures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of returning to their busy life at home.

To sum up, recently traveling isn’t take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
time and effort
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
find it easier to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
and spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more time at their destination while having fun.
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IELTS essay Many tourists today fly straight to their holiday rosort and almost never return home

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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