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Science will soon make people live up to 100 or even 200 years. Some believe this is a good thing while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Science will soon make people live up to 100 or even 200 years. Some believe this is a good thing while others disagree. v. 3
Advancements in science is expected to prolong the livespan of people. It is argued by some people that this is a good development, while others do not agree with this notion. Although it will make life more productive, I believe that a longer life will be expensive. On the one hand, some people believe that life would be more productive when people live for up to 100 or 200 years. In other words, people would be able to maintain a healthy life for a longer period of time which would affford them the energy and time to work for a long period of time in active service and achieve more of their goals. For instance, when people start to live for about 150 years, the general retirement age would increase and people would work for a much longer period of time. Therefore, it is anticipated that many people would be able to accomplish their goals and expectations in their lifetime. On the other hand, some people have the opinion that the cost of living would drastically increase when the life of people become lengthened by science. This is because there would be population explosion on the planet, which would increase the pressure on the available resources such as water, food, accommodation, transportation and health care. More so, there would be a rise in the population of the senior citizens and the cost of social welfare. Thus, the working population would be heavily taxed. This would ultimately cause a fall in the standard of living on earth. In conclusion, although the possibility of science prolonging human life would make our life more productive. However, it would make the cost of living exorbitant for people to live comfortable. On the balance, I am of the view that it is not a good thing.
Advancements in science is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to prolong the
Possible spelling mistake found.
livespan
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
development, while others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion. Although it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more productive, I believe that a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be expensive.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would be more productive when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for up to 100 or 200 years.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be able to maintain a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for a longer period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which would
Possible spelling mistake found.
affford
them the energy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to work for a long period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in active service and achieve more of their goals.
For instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for about 150 years, the general retirement age would increase and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would work for a much longer period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
, it
is anticipated
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be able to accomplish their goals and expectations in their lifetime.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the opinion that the cost of living would
drastically
increase when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become lengthened by science. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there would be population explosion on the planet, which would increase the pressure on the available resources such as water, food, accommodation, transportation and health care. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, there would be a rise in the population of the senior citizens and the cost of social welfare.
Thus
, the working population would be
heavily
taxed. This would
ultimately
cause a fall in the standard of living on earth.

In conclusion
, although the possibility of science prolonging human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more productive.
However
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the cost of living exorbitant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
comfortable. On the balance, I am of the view that it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Science will soon make people live up to 100 or even 200 years. Some believe this is a good thing while others disagree. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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