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Science argue that the use of modern gadgets such as cell phones and tablets by young people has potential to boost creativity. Do you agree or disagree?

Science argue that the use of modern gadgets such as cell phones and tablets by young people has potential to boost creativity. oxkKD
In 21st century, people have been converted to new technology and items for their future supportive. For example cell phones, tablets and different kind of watches which is can do everything by means of it. Most of young people who admire for that kind of stuff in these days. Futhermore from through their creativeness grow high instead of struggling make something, think by themselves. I occasionally agree with this statement, in light of fact that Technology can do various part which is important to modern world whenever we steps in the future. Meanwhile this society always get something like whether they need to do it. So easily without get any trouble Nowadays, it is become habit according to them. In my view, in this word, young crowd are more creative than previous community. Recently, majority of them get some help through by cell phones, for their job what they are going to do. For an example, we need to make kind of birthday card for our friend, but still do not have any idea for it, how to make it by ourselves. Then we can use our Phone or Tablet to get to number of ideas from YouTube video through by it. After watching videos lots of young ages, adults, even kids also make a card understand from it. Potentially, not only grown up family, most of people who are using cell Phones, for their intention and they have known, how much valuable and supportive stuff that they can mend lots of item by their attempt through. In conclusion, people have good creative idea and they can improve their ability from using phones or tablet without wasting time and get different idea through it. It will be helpful for their future career.
In 21st century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been converted
to new technology and items for their future supportive.
For example
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, tablets and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
which is can do everything by means of it. Most of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who admire for that kind of stuff in these days.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
their creativeness grow high
instead
of struggling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
something,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by themselves. I
occasionally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, in light of fact that Technology can do various part which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to modern world whenever we
The pronoun 'we' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "step"
steps
in the future.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
this society always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
something like whether they need to do it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
easily
without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any trouble Nowadays, it
is become
habit according to them. In my view, in this word, young crowd are more creative than previous community. Recently,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
by cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, for their job what they are going to do. For an example, we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
kind of birthday card for our friend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
do not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
for it, how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it by ourselves. Then we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Phone
or Tablet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
from YouTube video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
by it. After watching videos lots of young ages, adults, even kids
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a card understand from it.

Potentially
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
grown up family, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are using cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Phones
, for their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
intention and
they have known, how much valuable and supportive stuff that they can mend lots of item by their attempt through.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
creative
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
idea and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their ability from using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
or tablet without wasting time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
it. It will be helpful for their future career.
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IELTS essay Science argue that the use of modern gadgets such as cell phones and tablets by young people has potential to boost creativity.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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