Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Schools are restricting students' access to mobile phones on campus. Is it right or wrong in your opinion.

Schools are restricting students' access to mobile phones on campus. Is it right or wrong in your opinion. Y0N5
In today's world, majority of the students have mobile phones. However, Schools have introduced restrictions or banned the usage of mobile phones within premises or in specific areas within the premises. While these devices has some positive effects such as connectivity, quicker response to any emergencies or a bit of learning, they do have negative effects as well, owing to which the schools started imposing restrictions on the device usage within premises. This, in my opinion, is definitely required as the negative effects outweigh the positive effects on kids learning, physical and social well-being. Firstly, restricting access within the class can significantly improve the learning process. Students with mobile phones check frequently for any alerts or use the devices for other unrelated purposes while in class. This in turn will effect the student's concentration as well as the neighboring students and the entire class. This is evident from the multiple instances identified recently in cameras attached to classes. Hence, restricting the device access can definitely reduce the distractions and improve student's towards the topic being discussed in the class. Secondly, mobile phones can easily become an addiction, thereby restricting the students' time spent on physical activities such as games, exercise and social activities such as mingling with fellow students. This in turn will have a compound effect on students' physical fitness and mental abilities. Recent studies have shown students using more time on mobile phones tend to be obese and reserved in nature. Schools, in addition to studies, are expected to play a major role in well rounded development of students and so should strictly restrict any distractions towards such development in the longer run. Finally, we have few more issues that could impact the students development in both shorter and longer runs in case phones are allowed on campus. To conclude, the cons of allowing students to carry mobile phones inside school premises significantly outweigh the pros of allowing the same. Hence, in my opinion, Schools' decision to restrict mobile is a really justified initiative as it will help ensure no distractions are permitted towards the students overall development.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
have introduced restrictions or banned the usage of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
within premises or in specific areas within the premises. While these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects such as connectivity, quicker response to any emergencies or a bit of learning, they do have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects
as well
, owing to which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
imposing restrictions on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
usage within premises. This, in my opinion, is definitely required as the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on kids learning, physical and social well-being.

Firstly
, restricting access within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
can
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the learning process.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
with mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
frequently
for any alerts or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
for other unrelated purposes while in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. This in turn will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
the student's concentration
as well
as the neighboring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. This is evident from the multiple instances identified recently in cameras attached to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
Hence
, restricting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
access can definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the distractions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
student's towards the topic
being discussed
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

Secondly
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can
easily
become an addiction, thereby restricting the students' time spent on physical activities such as games, exercise and social activities such as mingling with fellow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This in turn will have a compound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on students' physical fitness and mental abilities. Recent studies have shown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
using more time on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
tend to be obese and reserved in nature.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
,
in addition
to studies, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to play a major role in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well rounded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
should
strictly
restrict any distractions towards such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in the longer run.

Finally
, we have few more issues that could impact the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in both shorter and longer runs in case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
on campus.
To conclude
, the cons of allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to carry mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
inside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
premises
significantly
outweigh the pros of allowing the same.
Hence
, in my opinion, Schools' decision to restrict mobile is a
really
justified initiative as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
ensure no distractions
are permitted
towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Schools are restricting students' access to mobile phones on campus. Is it right or wrong in your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts