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As a result of electronic inventions such as television and the computer, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

As a result of electronic inventions such as television and the computer, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. qXJE
New technologies such as the computer and television have changed people's lives. This new lifestyle has vast effects on their physical health. While some people think electronic inventions hurt people's health, I believe it is not certain that technologies can be harmful to our health. Some people say that technologies make us have a sedentary lifestyle because people, especially teenagers, spend a lot of time in front of their computer and television. Therefore, besides feeling depressed and having passive life, it causes health problems like overweight. They believe that people prefer sitting in front of screens for a long time instead of going to the gym. Consequently, it causes diseases like a heart attack. However, I think new technologies can be a turning point for people to improve their lives. These days, people have access to the computer and the internet. Because of that, they have more information about healthy items such as food, weather, sports, etc. Accordingly, they can care for themselves better. Moreover, it is possible for them to be aware of many sports communities. As a consequence, they can participate in different physical activity groups. In my experience, modern inventions are wonderful. I have been using electronic devices to join sports groups and starting exercise. Furthermore, I use various applications and softwares on my cellphone and laptop to control my weight and diet. In my case, using technology for health was unbelievably helpful. A number of pieces of advice, which were so practical, have always been given by experts to me, and I am experiencing a much healthier lifestyle. In conclusion, I can't entirely agree with the statement in the question. Although new technology has some adverse effects on our health, it would be helpful to live healthy, if people have a balance in using electronic devices.
New
technologies
such as the computer and television have
changed
people
's
lives
. This
new
lifestyle has vast effects on their physical
health
. While
some
people
think
electronic inventions hurt
people
's
health
, I believe it is not certain that
technologies
can be harmful to our health.

Some
people
say that
technologies
make
us have a sedentary lifestyle
because
people
,
especially
teenagers
, spend
a lot of
time in front of their computer and television.
Therefore
,
besides
feeling depressed and having passive life, it causes
health
problems like overweight. They believe that
people
prefer sitting in front of screens for a long time
instead
of going to the gym.
Consequently
, it causes diseases like a heart attack.

However
, I
think
new
technologies
can be a turning point for
people
to
improve
their
lives
. These days,
people
have access to the computer and the internet.
Because
of that, they have more information about healthy items such as food, weather, sports, etc.
Accordingly
, they can care for themselves better.
Moreover
, it is possible for them to be aware of
many
sports communities. As a consequence, they can participate in
different
physical activity groups. In my experience, modern inventions are wonderful. I have been using electronic devices to
join
sports groups and starting exercise.
Furthermore
, I
use
various applications and
softwares on
my cellphone and laptop to control my weight and diet. In my case, using
technology
for
health
was
unbelievably
helpful. A number of pieces of advice, which were
so
practical, have always been
given
by experts to me, and I am experiencing a much healthier lifestyle.

In conclusion
, I can't
entirely
agree
with the statement in the question. Although
new
technology
has
some
adverse effects on our
health
, it would be helpful to
live
healthy, if
people
have a balance in using electronic devices.
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IELTS essay As a result of electronic inventions such as television and the computer, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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