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Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information on the Internet and study at home. Agree or Disagree?

Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information on the Internet and study at home. Agree or Disagree? oRkRq
In modern society, it is argued that the formal education and school attendance is unnecessary by the reason that the internet has a variety of different subjects and children are able to study it from home. I totally disagree with this opinion because the internet cannot provide interaction with a teacher as well as the internet is highly addictive and destructive. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will explain my viewpoint with relevant examples. To begin with, even through the internet is a great tools for finding information. It does not completely satisfy the purpose fundamental education, which is providing a solid knowledge of basic subject for growing generation. However, the goals can be achieved by communication with teacher and active inclusion of a pupil in the educational classes. This is because the internet is only supportive tools and a storage of information, while a teacher is literary a guide through the essence of knowledge. On top of that, a teacher is helping the youth to understand a subject, encouraging them to study it in a depths which is the internet only one way education channels. For example, the pupils unsure how to calculate their maths and make it correctly. They can be understood the answer by asking their teachers. In addition, there are plenty of distractions on the internet such as entertainment sites with games, different forums an videos. There kind of resources are may cause an internet addiction, when a person simply spends hours and hours in front of the screen without particular reason. Thus, the child was learning subject online, he may be easy distracted by mess media as well as becomes an internet addict. For instance, today due to the pandemic most of school children throughout the world are studying online and their parents noticed that it was hard to controlling as their children tend to playing games online instead of studying and cannot concentrated their subject. In conclusion, I completely disagree that the school lost their potential with the appearance of the internet, because children needed a supervision from a professional, who can help them to gain fundamental.
In modern society, it
is argued
that the formal education and school attendance is unnecessary by the reason that the internet has a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are able to study it from home. I
totally
disagree with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the internet cannot provide interaction with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
as well
as the internet is
highly
addictive and destructive. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my viewpoint with relevant examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, even through the internet is a great tools for finding information. It does not completely satisfy the purpose fundamental education, which is providing a solid knowledge of basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for growing generation.
However
, the goals can
be achieved
by communication with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and active inclusion of a pupil in the educational classes. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the internet is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
supportive tools and a storage of information, while a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is literary a guide through the essence of knowledge.
On top of that
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is helping the youth to understand a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, encouraging them to study it in
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a depth" or simply "depths"?
a depths
which is the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one way education channels.
For example
, the pupils unsure how to calculate their
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
correctly
. They can
be understood
the answer by asking their teachers.

In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of distractions on the internet such as entertainment sites with games,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forums
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an video" or simply "videos"?
an videos
. There kind of resources are may cause an internet addiction, when a person
simply
spends hours and hours in front of the screen without particular reason.
Thus
, the child was learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
online, he may be easy distracted by mess media
as well
as becomes an internet addict.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
due to the pandemic
Consider using "most school" or "most of the school".
most of school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
throughout the world are studying online and their parents noticed that it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
Did you mean "control"?
controlling
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to playing games online
instead
of studying and cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "concentrate"
concentrated
their subject.

In conclusion
, I completely disagree that the school lost their potential with the appearance of the internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
needed a supervision from a professional, who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to gain fundamental.
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IELTS essay Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information on the Internet and study at home. Agree or Disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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