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In today's world, vast majority of young people have trouble managing their own money. Why might this be the case? How could they achieve budgeting skills?

In today's world, vast majority of young people have trouble managing their own money. Why might this be the case? How could they achieve budgeting skills? 0AEAG
Using money properly sometimes can be hard for people. Especially young people who control their own budget are predisposed to have problem with this. I am of the opinion that this situation stems from helicopter parents and digitalized world. However, there are some solutions for gaining skills about how they manage their money correctly like reducing to use credit card or participating some programs. I would like to begin by explaining with why young people have some issues when they operate their money. İt is obvious that some children who have helicopter parents tend to be vulnerable because their responsibilities are made by their families mostly because helicopter parents interfere with their everything about their life. In this situation damages self confidence and it also affects them in terms of managing their life like operating their money. They do not know how they deal with these all of them because of lack of experience. When they go to the market or mall, their parents probably do not give permission in the payment section. İt is worthwhile to note that undertaking responsibilities also can be problematic in their future life because a sense of fulfilling responsibilities are obtained at a young age and managing money is associated with undertaking responsibilities because it is essential for maintaining life. Another reason is many young people do not know how they operate their own money because they generally use digital payment methods and people using these methods can not realize out how much money they spent because it feels like everything free and reachable. Especially many companies who want to exploiting this condition in profit way produce products that will appeal to young people on their online sites. Because they do not know exactly what they are buying online, it is not possible for them to manage their money properly. Despite having some causes about young people’s difficulties with managing their own money, there are some solutions about that. Children should take their decisions and endure the consequences because these aid them how to exploiting their own money properly. Working at a job as a child in summer can be beneficial for gaining experience in future life because they learn how to earn money in a hard way. These workspaces teach the truth for young children that life is striving for maintaining. In this way, they learn the value of money. Another thing is they are liable for shopping on online and this leads to a lot of money to spend. However, if they are informed and constrained about shopping online, they will realize out how they much spent. Government should implement same incentive programs about that like seminars and families should raise children’s about wasteful spending about online shopping. If they do their part and inform children, children will be more conscious about spending money. To sum up, managing money can be difficult for young children because digital platforms used frequently attract them to waste money and sometimes this difficulties stem from helicopter parents behaviors. However, there are some solutions about that like realizing value of money thanks to work places and also governments and families should promote children awareness’ about managing money.
Using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
properly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who control their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
budget
are predisposed
to have problem with this. I am of the opinion that this situation stems from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helicopter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and digitalized world.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions for gaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
about how they manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
correctly
like reducing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
credit card or participating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
programs.

I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by explaining with why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues when they operate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İt
is obvious that s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helicopter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
tend to be vulnerable b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ecause
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
are made
by their families
mostly
b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ecause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helicopter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
interfere with their everything about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this situation damages
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
and it a
lso
affects them in terms of managing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
like operating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. They do not know how they deal with these all of them b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ecause
of lack of experience. When they go to the market or mall, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
p
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
robably
do not give permission in the payment section.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İt
is worthwhile to note that undertaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
al
so c
an be problematic in their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
cause a
sense of fulfilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
are obtained
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age and managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is associated
with undertaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
cause i
t is essential for maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Another reason is many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople d
o not know how they operate their own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
cause t
hey ge
nerally u
s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
e d
igital payment methods and pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople u
sing these methods can not realize out how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they spent be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
cause i
t feels like everything free and reachable. Es
pecially m
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ny c
o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
mpanies w
ho want to
Did you mean "exploit"?
exploiting
this condition in profit way produce products that will appeal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople o
n their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sites. Be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
cause t
hey do not know exactly what they are buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, it is not possible for them to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
properly
.

Despite having so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
me c
auses about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople’s
difficulties with managing their own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, there are so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
me s
olutions about that.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should take their decisions and endure the consequences be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
cause t
hese aid them how to exploiting their own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
properly
. Working at a job as a child in summer can be beneficial for gaining experience in future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
cause t
hey learn how to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in a ha
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rd w
ay. These workspaces teach the truth for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is striving for maintaining. In this way, they learn the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Another thing is they are liable for shopping on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and this leads to a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to spend. Ho
wever,
if they
are informed
and constrained about shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, they will realize out how they much spent. Go
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
vernment s
hould implement same incentive programs about that like seminars and families should raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
about wasteful spending about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping. If they do their part and inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be more conscious about spending money.

To sum up, managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
cause d
igital platforms used
frequently
attract them to waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and sometimes
Did you mean "these"?
this
difficulties stem from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helicopter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
behaviors. Ho
wever,
there are so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
me s
olutions about that like realizing value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
thanks to work places and al
so g
o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
vernments a
nd families should promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
awareness’ about managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay In today's world, vast majority of young people have trouble managing their own money. Why might this be the case? How could they achieve budgeting skills?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
530 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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