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School subjects which is prefferred by pupils

School subjects which is prefferred by pupils 7PV15
There has been much controversy around the importance of studying food science and cooking. While some insist that schools should place more emphasis on teaching core subjects such as math or science, I would argue that food-related courses should also be an option in the curriculum. On the one hand, the core disciplines standard at most schools are imperative for one’s future career. These subjects give students basic knowledge in many areas, help them to land a good job and make it easier for them to transit into a professional environment. For example, logical thinking acquired during math lessons and critical thinking fostered by literature will make for a confident individual who is up for a challenge, able to solve problems, and ultimately able to make informed choices about their future. On the other hand, a solid understanding of food and cooking will benefit students immensely in many respects. Firstly, scientific knowledge about food encourages students to take a health-conscious approach to their diet. Students can see the value of healthy eating habits and know which foods are harmful to their physical health. Therefore, they are more likely to adopt a balanced diet rather than consuming junk food. Furthermore, equipping young people with the foundational knowledge of food science will build up their self-reliance and enable them to lead independent lives
There has been much controversy around the importance of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
science and cooking. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
insist that schools should place more emphasis on teaching core subjects such as math or science, I would argue that food-related courses should
also
be an option in the curriculum.

On the one hand, the core disciplines standard at most schools are imperative for one’s future career. These subjects give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
basic knowledge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to land a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier for them to transit into a professional environment.
For example
, logical thinking acquired during math lessons and critical thinking fostered by literature will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
for a confident individual who is up for a challenge, able to solve problems, and
ultimately
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
informed choices about their future.

On the other hand
, a solid understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and cooking will benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
immensely
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
respects.
Firstly
, scientific knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take a health-conscious approach to their diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the value of healthy eating habits and know which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are harmful to their physical health.
Therefore
, they are more likely to adopt a balanced diet
rather
than consuming junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Furthermore
, equipping young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with the foundational knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
science will build up their self-reliance and enable them to lead independent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives

IELTS essay School subjects which is prefferred by pupils

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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