Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that technology plays a vital role in entertainment. But other said that we are over dependent on technology, which brings on more cons than pros. What is your opinion about its importance in entertainment in today’s society?

Some people think that technology plays a vital role in entertainment. But other said that we are over dependent on technology, which brings on more cons than pros. What is your opinion about its importance in entertainment in today’s society? PLarw
When the question of technology comes into view, there exist many trends. Some people strongly tend to believe that technology really plays an importance role in entertainment. Others; however, admit that technology could bring more negative effects than merits. From my point of view, everything has both sides. To begin with, it is undeniable that technology plays a vital role in entertainment industry. First of all, entertainment tools help people reduce stress after work or school and lead to a happy life. Technology has many uses for entertainment such as surfing the internet, listening to music, playing games, etc…. All of these uses help users feel more relaxed, more refreshed so that they can work more efficiently and reduce negative emotions. Besides, technology can help children on education so that they can understand the lesson more frequently. On the other hand, technological advancement also brings various demerits.
When the question of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
into view, there exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
trends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
strongly
tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
really
plays an importance role in entertainment. Others;
however
, admit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could bring more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects than merits. From my point of view, everything has both sides.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays a vital role in entertainment industry.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, entertainment tools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after work or school and lead to a happy life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
for entertainment such as surfing the internet, listening to music, playing games, etc…. All of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
users feel more relaxed, more refreshed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can work more
efficiently
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children on education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can understand the lesson more
frequently
.

On the other hand
, technological advancement
also
brings various demerits.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that technology plays a vital role in entertainment. But other said that we are over dependent on technology, which brings on more cons than pros. What is your opinion about its importance in entertainment in today’s society?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people think that technology plays a vital role in entertainment. But other said that we are over dependent on technology, which brings on more cons than pros. What is your opinion about its importance in entertainment in today’s society?